Vidur in Bangalore and the experiences so far

We had to relocate from one state to another. I keep wondering what must be going through my little one's head. Over night, his home, his environment, the people have changed. Does he associate Bangalore with his new school? Does he wonder where the people who were always with him in Chennai are? Does his new home feel like home to him. I know most people say kids are very adaptable and there is no doubt regarding this. But am sure a lot goes through their heads too.


I was a little apprehensive while looking for play schools for Vidur. I looked at three schools near my new home. Two of them were Montessori style. I did not like one and the other one... Well, I liked the teachers, I really did. And I was (and still am) awed by the Montessori style of teaching. But..... Let me explain what I saw in this particular school. The lady who runs the schools was very impressive. She spoke well and was very good at tackling my queries. She had two requests before she showed me inside.

1. Please do not talk when inside. I will explain and answer all your queries when we come outside. The children are busy with their activities and we don't want to disturb them. 
2. Please do not step on the activity mats. Be careful to walk around them.  

I did not know what the activity mats were, but since she insisted, I walked on my toes. As I entered, I was impressed by the space. I saw children of ages 2-5 sitting and doing their activity on their respective mats (AHA!). She showed me different rooms and the tools used. A girl (aged 4 probably) walked up to her and asked her, "Can I paint now?" She responded "Sure. First roll up your mat and get your apron." The girl obediently rolled up her mat and placed it where ever it had to go. Then, she put on an apron and waited patiently as the teacher tied it for her. The girl collected the paint items and neatly sat down to paint. I was, needless to say, speechless. Why? Well, if you have been following my blog, you may understand how 'ACTIVE' my son is. He is very, very naughty. I had great difficulty imagining my son in these settings. So, after the tour was over, I told her the same. To this she said, most parents are not firm with their children. In this school, we are very strict about our rules. This is the main reason we take in only one or two new children on Mondays and Wednesdays. It takes time but the child eventually settles down. While I was sure that she must be right, I decided against this school for the following reasons:

• I was a little worried that this school was too quiet. Imagine throwing fifteen 2-5 years old together and hearing pin drop silence. Eerieeeeeeeeeeeee. I thought children should make some noise and have some fun. 
• There was absolutely no play area. Two small slides on concrete near the gate were all the play the kids would get. Hated this thought. While I was inside, I thought it was safer if Vidur stayed outside with my mother. I couldn't be firm enough and explain to my son that he had to be quiet and not step on the mats. So, he was playing on the only two slides and he kept landing PLONK on the concrete!
• The fees was too high. I am not paying that much to change my son's personality to an obedient boy! 

I went to another school. As soon as I entered, I fell in love with it. I saw it and thought I wish I could come here everyday. It had a lovely playground, a splash pool, the whole building was painted in bright colors and most importantly the head mistress was not pushy. She gave me a lot of time and space to make up my mind. Vidur obviously joined this school.

On the first day of school, Vidur very excitedly ran inside expecting me to follow him. Because of the relocation, he joined one month late. Therefore, I could not help him selttle into school by being there with him. But for all ts worth, my mom and I waited three hours outside for the whole week and kept straining our ears to hear him. I think this transition into school is a very traumatic experience for children, parents and grand parents (am sure the list can grow longer). I keep thinking isn't there a nicer way to do this rather than say they will cry the first few days and then settle down. My dad says I am too fussy. Well, maybe I am. :)

But finally there came a day (and mind you very soon at that) when he walked in and said bye to me with excitement in his eyes. He loves his teacher and she is really sweet to him too. Finally, I was at peace! Vidur had taken a liking to school! One day I reached early and was waiting outside with Vidur. One of the assistants walked to me and said very sweetly 'Vidur does not sit in class. He insists on standing all the time. Please try telling him that he needs to sit in class. He is very smart and speaks a lot. I don't usually approve of schools complaining about the students. But this was different. I have heard instances when teachers ask parents to stop the child from hitting other or eating from others lunch boxes! Well, I believe that the school  has taken up the responsibility of teaching social skills and so on. Therefore, you can please teach kids whats 'right' and what is not. I am sure the parents do their bit. Its almost like the next thing they will say is you son is not studying or concentrating in class. Being an instructional designer, it is my habit to not blame the learner and to take complete responsibility if learning does not happen. So, now you know where I am coming from... :)

That's it about schools. One day, I decided to take Vidur to a nearby park. This park is very new and therefore, very appealing to kids and parents. The park was closed and later I found out that this park was open only from 5-7. Two people collect membership fees of Rs. 100 from each parent. This money is used for planting trees, maintaining swings/slides, and paying a full time watchman. The watchman ensured that teenagers do not misuse the park and that kids from the near by slum do not enter. I have absolutely no issues with people collecting money to maintain a public park and will happy contribute to the same. But, deep down I did have a problem with the park being closed to kids form the slum. Are they not allowed to have fun? Is this not a PUBLIC park? Are we all elitist in our outlook? Are we worried that our children will learn the wring things if in their company? I did not say anything to her as I was new and don't want to offend anybody. But, I do not believe in creating further divisions in our society, there are enough without us trying to do so...