Flying Overseas

Vidur developed a terrible cold two days before our departure to Doha. My doc was a little concerned about his health. She did everything possible to ensure that Vidur was fit to travel. I am very grateful to her. She asked me to carry his regular medicines. She also asked me to give him 'lullaby' to ensure that he sleeps through the journey. She said that else with his cold he may cry a lot and it will get difficult for us. I asked her whether I could give him the syrup if he gets cranky. She said it will take half and hour to take effect.

Even though the doc warned me that Vidur would cry, trusting my motherly instincts, I decided against it. Let me tell you something about my son. He loves (I mean really loves!) going out and seeing people. His eyes light up when he sees new places and new people. Our flight was at 4:45 am and therefore we left home at 2:30 am. Vidur was fast asleep. I dressed him up while he was still sleeping and carried him down to the taxi. As soon as we reached the airport, he was up and was definitely not cranky. He wanted to take it all in...the people, the lights, the shops. Once we were in the flight, he played for sometime with a pen and promptly slept off just before my food arrived. The Qatar Airways staff asked us whether we wanted a bassinet for Vidur. I think this was procedure as he had a very doubtful expression on his face. My son is 11 months but he is tall and chubby. I told him no thanks I think he is too big and heavy for the bassinet. :)

Vidur was such a darling. He slept through most of the four and half hour flight duration. He got up once and was even then he was his happy self. He got off my lap and past my mother and sister to toddle down the aisle. My mother was reminded of Baby's Day Out (the movie). :) We had to force him to come back to his seat. I was telling my mother how glad I was that I decided against giving him the sedative. Why should I deprive him of the pleasure of enjoying his overseas flight experience?

A little help please...

A couple of weeks back I had visited Hyderabad. I had opted for a flight as I had to travel alone with Vidur. Rajeev dropped Vidur and me at the Chennai airport. I had a trolley bag, a biggish tote bag, a laptop, a handbag, and a diaper bag. Rajeev very efficiently stacked all this on a trolley and pushed it till the airport entrance. I was carrying Vidur. At the entrance, I showed the guard my e-ticket and tried pushing the trolley. It didn't budge. Then I remembered that you need to push the handle of the trolley down to release the brakes. Can you imagine holding a baby in one hand and pushing the bar down and the trolley forward with the other hand? As I entered, a Kingfisher official asked me which airlines I was traveling by. I was traveling by Indian Airlines. He moved past me. I was left thinking that he could have helped me anyway. I am sure his airlines will not fire him for being helpful. And my impression of the airlines would have drastically improved also.

Anyway, I somehow managed to push the trolley (though I am very sure I was visibly struggling) till the luggage screening. There a person helped unload my luggage. He also helped me restack the trolley. I was very grateful and thanked him sincerely. Appreciating this, he asked a person to push my trolley till the check in counter. The man was reluctant but finally gave in. I was able to get rid of my check in luggage but I was still left with a laptop, diaper bag and purse. The diaper bag was extremely heavy as I being a paranoid mom had taken the entire stock of Cerelac, Nestum, Nan. I guess I was worried that I would be stranded at the airport with no food for my baby. I also had no space for these cans in the suitcase. :)

Now that the luggage was checked in, Vidur was getting heavier by the minute. These are times when you wish your kid had learnt how to walk. But parents who have kids in that stage wish otherwise. :) As per the board and the announcement, I had proceed to the security check area. Ok. I had to go the first floor for my gate. There was an escalator there which said I couldn't take the trolley on it. Anyway, I wouldn't have dared. So, I headed back toward the person who helped me and asked whether there was a lift that I could use so that I could just take the trolley with me. They thought about it and said yes and pointed in the general direction of the lift. One guys asked the other to help me while the other said you go. This lasted a few minutes when I interrupted and said 'It is ok I will manage'. I headed toward the lift and managed to get the trolley in the lift. A few other passengers accompanied me. The gate was supposed to be on the first floor. When the lift doors opened, I saw a hotel. I asked a passenger whether I could reach the gate from here. He said no, only hotel and an office was there. So, I went back to the ground floor, left the damn trolley, made Vidur stand holding my leg, and hung the bags on both shoulders. Then, I took the escalator and headed to the first floor. I struggled but finally managed to get on the flight.

At the Hyderabad Airport, people were more helpful. A man accompanied me all the way from the flight till the taxi. He refused money also! Now that's service. On the way back, I was booked on Paramount airlines. A air hostess helped me as soon as I landed back in Chennai. She was really sweet about it. She helped me at the baggage claim and escorted me all the way out. I really appreciate it when people help without grumbling and expecting anything in return.

Vidur MoonWalking

Last evening Vidur was amidst his grannies (my mom, two aunts and my grand mother). He was initially shy, but soon he was was himself. He played peek-a-boo with my mother. He found things to grab and yank onto the floor. He was babbling all the time. My mother asked whether he was a good boy and he started shaking his head. You can him any question and as if he really understands he starts shaking his head. His answer is always negative.

Mom and I managed to feed him successfully. He did try spitting some of it out. But we realized the trick. We gave him Sambar rice and then Curd rice. So by the time he got bored of the new taste, we were through feeding him.

My grand mom is a big fan of Idea Star Singer (Asianet). So everyone settled around the TV to watch. Vidur realized that attention was no longer on him. He decided that this called for something big! If you haven't guessed it yet... My son took his first steps (six to be precise). I always thought that it would mother's love that will make a child stand and walk toward her. I am sure you have seen this is on all baby commercials. But this was not the case with me... My son had his back to me! He was was not even looking at me!! He wanted to attract the attention of his grannies. Anyway, I will lick my wounds later.

Vidur conitnued to walk a few steps over and over again. According to my mom, he looked like he was walking on the moon. It was really funny in a very endearing sort of way. After I got him back to my place, I encouraged him to walk so that Rajeev could see this. But, he refused to do so. Today, he hasn't tried to walk. I have tried everything possible. He looks at me as if to say have I ever done that before. I guess he needs more motivation to walk and that has a lot to with grannies!

The Listless Mother

My hubby recently changed our newspaper and now we subscribe to Times of India. I was reading the cartoon segment and I came across two cartoons that were about mothers who were really tired and listless because of their role as a mother. Hmmm.

Being a mother is a really challenging task. The other day I had to get ready for my cousin's cousin's reception (:P). I spent sometime trying to figure out which outfit to wear. I ensured that it was ironed and free of creases. Vidur looked really smart in his new shorts and white t-shirt. As soon as we entered the car, he got onto my lap (I know! I know! I have to fix the car seat in the car!). He stood on my lap and hung on the handle fixed above the window. He jumped up and down. He tried tugging at my earrings and realized that mommy is wearing studs and not those fascinating, very pull-able dangling earrings. Finally, he wanted to move to his aunt's lap. She was had also painstakingly ironed out her outfit. As soon as he got onto her lap, she yelped, remembering that the material would wrinkle easily. Why bother ironing in the first place! He promptly pulled my hair and ensured that it was in a disarray by the time we got to the wedding hall. No wonder, we (mothers) look distressed and disheveled.

Conquered the Nada Vandi

We bought Vidur a traditional, very Indian version of a walker. This is called 'nada vandi' (I am no expert in Tamil but the literal translation is Walk vehicle) in Tamil. The few times that Vidur saw this toy, he was most fascinated with the tiny bells on either side. The first time he tried walking holding on to it, he lost his balance and hit his chin (ouch!). He has been practicing by pushing a old, battered can chair around. This morning, he was in full form!

He was running up and down the hall (with my maid following him closely, ready to catch him if he were to fall). He has now mastered the art of balancing the toy and applies the right pressure to ensure that the narrow side does not come off the floor.

What I liked about this kind of walker is that the kid is not restricted within a closed space. There is a chance that he will fall. and it is absolutely essential to supervise him. But it gives him the freedom to push it around, learn to walk by mastering the art of balancing and also fall as all kids do as they grow up. At least, he won't be scared of getting hurt! I have this idiotic grin on my face everytime he pushes this toy around with no help from us. :)

The Fussy Mother

The things I fuss about:

General:

1. Is his shit the right colour and consistency? (His loosies drove me crazy, therefore the constant need to monitor...)
2. What is his next meal and how much time do I have to get it ready?
   
3. What veggies did I give him yesterday?
   

When traveling:

1. Do I have EVERYTHING he needs in one tiny bag?
   
2. Do I have all his medicines with me?
   
3. Is his diaper and baby wipes easily accessible?
4. How dirty is the destination going to be?
   
5. What facilities are going to be available there?
6. Will Vidur adjust to the new environment?
   
7. Will others put pressure on me to feed him every time he cries?
8. No new food to be introduced
   

Guess all mother's fuss atleast a little when it comes to their first child. By the time we have the next, we are used to the whole mother routine. When we plan to go out, getting his bag ready is a big task. I need to mentally tick things off in my head. His bag must have:

• Food for atleast two meals incase we get stuck outside
• Spoons (incase he drops on or I am not able to wash it for the next feed)
  
• Bibs (he is very messy when in a naughty mood so i throw in extra bibs) and soft cloth wipes
  
• Diapers (2-3)
• Nappy cream (he gets a rash very easily)
• A set of clothes (incase he dirties the one he is wearing)
• A packet of baby wipes
  

If I am taking him for a movie:

• A blanket ( the theaters are typically very cold..... brrrrrrr)
• A pair of socks
  
• A full sleeved shirt or a jacket
  

So, yes I fuss. And, think I know what is best for my kid.

Bald Vidur

Like all mothers, I was paranoid about how Vidur was going to react to the blade. But my paranoia was absolutely unnecessary, he was a brave little boy. He cried only when he realized that his father was holding onto his hands.

Children get so used to the fan or the air conditioner. I had taken Vidur to a village, Srirangam, in Trichy. Powercuts are common thing there. Every other house is either contemplating or purchasing inverters. Power failure lasts for 10 hours! The first night was quite an adventure. Vidur and I were sleeping in a small room. Sleep eluded me because of unfamiliar surroundings. Vidur slept peacefully till 3:30. Then, he got up and decided he wanted to play and say 'amma', 'appa' and 'thatha'. He had some milk and went to sleep by 4:00. Power supply was cut around 4:40 am. This is when the army of mosquitoes attacked. They were ruthless! I had to sit next to my son, using a hand fan to protect him from these merciless creatures. Regardless of this effort, his forehead and hands had several mosquito bites! The power returned by 6:00 am. The next power cut was from 2:00 pm to 6:00. Can you believe it? We had to live with it.... Vidur, on the other hand, was extremely cranky because of the heat. He is used to having at least the fan around to cool things down.

He was in the best of moods when we went out!

What's Vidur upto?

It has been a long time since I posted. In this time, Vidur is now walking holding anything (chair, cupboard, door, bed, sofa) he gets his hands on. He spends most of the day strengthening his legs by standing. When in a really exploratory mood, he toddles around at a reasonable speed.

He now very excitedly waves bye-bye to anyone in his vision when he is held anywhere near the front door. He shakes his head vigorously from left to right when anyone sings Pappu can't dance salla (this his maternal grandma thought him). He sings with his maternal grandpa. He makes a very seriously face and says aaaaaaa. He is very excited that he can reach the table. He stands on his toes to see what he can reach. Since this is now my work space, his face lights up when he sees the mouse or my phone.

On the whole, Vidur is very busy these days exploring new territories and mastering new skills.

Sojha beta, varna Gabbar aa jayega

I have a maid helping me out with Vidur and other chores at home. My maid uses fear to try and ensure that Vidur listens to her. She says (in tamil) "Don't go there! There is a cat there. Shall I ask it to come and bite you?" or "Squeak! Squeak! Rat! Rat! Don't go there Vidur!" Haven't you heard similar instances before? Some age old fear mechanisms are:

• Will you eat or shall I call the policeman? He will take you away.
• Don't touch that else aunty/uncle will shout at/hit you!
• Don't touch that else I will never take you out/bring you here.
• Go to sleep now otherwise the monster/ghost will come and eat you!

Why do we use these fear mechanisms? Does simple, plain logic not work? I bet it doesn't! When children are being naughty, they typically know that they are not supposed to be doing it. You can see the mischievous look in their eyes. But I think a stern 'no' would work. Kids are very perceptive and pick up tones and facial expressions really early. I guess I will know soon if this technique will work better than the fear technique. Will share...

Busy Evening

Last evening, my hubby called to inform that he will be coming late. How this affects me (these days)? As soon as Rajeev comes home, Vidur is thrust into his arms. I call it bonding time (it is actually breathing space for me :) ). So, last evening Vidur was all mine. Hmmmm.....

He was is a very exploratory mood. He was toddling all over the place. We explored the kitchen, the pooja room, hall and dinning room and finally the bedroom. He stood holding on to the side table and was thrilled to see that the table was full of interesting things. He picked up the all out plug in and peered closely at it. He didn't think it was worth playing with and so, he threw it down with a determined thud. He then picked up the Parachute bottle and opened his mouth. He probably imagined putting it into his mouth, but decided it against it. The bottle joined the plug in on the floor. He then tried to reach for a jar of water. Thinking that he is going to throw this down anyway, I placed it on the floor. He then spotted a three way plug and an adapter. He realized that these items were more to his taste and he stated banging them on the table. Heaven knows how these boys automatically take to these items?

He then toddled towards the doormat. He realized that I knew what he was upto and increased his speed. But I am his mom (akhir main uski ma hoon), I got there first and removed the doormat. Never to be dejected, he used all his effort to stand by transferring his weight to the bathroom door. Very conveniently, he fell backwards expecting me to catch him. (BTW I did)

He then found his way to the fitted wardrobe. The door was left open. He dragged his pajamas (folded neatly and stacked together) out and dumped them on the floor. Then, he realized that he could open and close the door. He did this for what seemed like ages. Then, he tried to stand holding on to the door. When he stood, he realized he could reach another shelf. He dutifully pulled Pampers, shook the big packet vigorously, and dumped it.

Finally, he was sleepy. I rocked, I sang. Just when his eyelids closed shut, the doorbell rang and his eyelids sprang open. I wanted to cry. I stomped to the door, gave my tired hubby a dirty look and went back to try again. Same thing happened all over again. I was literally in tears. Finally, he was asleep!! I tucked him in. Saw his angelic face and forgot all that frustration.

Ain't I gud lukin?

My son loves his reflection. Seriously!!! We have a full length mirror in the bedroom. Ever so often, I find Vidur gazing at himself (and at me too; probably thrilled to see a mommy look-alike). There is an old TV stand in the guest bedroom. This stand has a glass door at the bottom. Vidur stops playing to go kiss himself on the glass. He sure does love himself! When I give some vessels to play (hoping he will allow me to cook), he sees himself there too!

My kitchen has a small step. Vidur tried very hard today and successfully climbed over it! He has been trying this for ages now. I was really curious to see what he wanted in the kitchen. As soon as you enter my kitchen, you see the side of the fridge (dark gray). This little one saw his reflection there and therefore, climbed over the step, reached the fridge and peered closely at himself and then at me. He was thrilled at his discovery. He then kissed himself a couple of times (this is probably his way of putting the fridge in his mouth).

My son sure is vain! :)

Will the real Vidur please stand up?

Vidur is now standing! He grabbed on to the cushion of the sofa and stood (while his maternal grandmother was watching him on webcam! He was actually making a desperate attempt to reach the laptop.) Now that he has learnt to stand holding on to something, all he does is practice this newly acquired skill.

I have a three seater and two single seaters. He stands holding on to one and then scans the sofa for remotes, camera, paper, toys. If there is nothing on the sofa, he quickly sits and tries another sofa. This continues over and over again. I try moving him near the dining area. He then tries to reach the tablecloth with the intention of standing. He tries to hold on to the chair, but the chair moves away so he decides against this option. When I put him in the kitchen, he tries to stand by transferring his weight on the fridge! He tries climbing holding the wall, the door, pillow.... guess, when he wants to master a skill, he really tries everything.

PS: Title inspired by Eminem's Will the real slim shady please stand up

Twinkle, twinkle little star

I typically sing all my favorite songs when I take on the challenge of trying to make Vidur sleep. When Vidur was five months, I realized that twinkle, twinkle little star was my key to blissful sleep. This tune helped me pacify him, make him eat (he used to fuss when I first introduced solids) and make him sleep. Around this time, my sister visited me. While feeding Nestum, I was singing twinkle, twinkle... By then, my sister was sick of hearing this tune. She suggested that I try Do, re, me fa, 'lukh chup lukh chup jao na' or 'lakdi ki kati' (anything but twinkle, twinkle). Just to prove a point, I sang do, re, me, fa and Vidur started howling again. I quickly switched back to twinkle, twinkle and he got back to eating his meal!

My sis was rocking the baby to sleep. Thinking that she could make a difference, she started to sing a really melodious hindi number. Predictably, Vidur wailed out his protest. She finally gave up and resorted to twinkle, twinkle. Whenever we went out, I used to sing it quietly in his ear to ensure that he does not scream out. First I noticed that my hubby was also using this tune to sing Vidur to sleep. One by one i realized that my mother, my mother in law and so on all resorted to this tune to console this kid.

Unfortunately, he has now outgrown this. Twinkle, twinkle no longer works. 'Kabhi, Kabhi Aditi' grabs his attention for a few minutes before he remembers that he was crying. He probably thinks that if I show interest in this song, mom will learn the whole song and sing it all the time! I am still testing the waters... hope to find another magic tune soon!

Crouching Tiger

Baby aged 7 months is playing with his toys. Something catches his attention. It is a housefly that is perched on his toy. He freezes and stares at this creature. The fly moves from one toy to another. Baby is still frozen with a keen eye on his prey. He carefully lifts his hand to grab the fly. But alas the fly is much faster. Baby gets back to playing with his toys. Instinct makes babies like animals:

• Do not move else the creature will escape.
  
• Anything that moves must be stopped.
  
• Explore the texture by tasting it.
  

He sees a black spot on the wall (mosquito squashed to death). He toddles on the bed till he reaches the spot, goes on his knees to experiment. He continues to scratch the wall thinking the next time he will be able to catch it.

Vidur reminds me of my doggie! :)

Obsession with Dirt!

Why do children (I hope this is a common thing that all mothers experience) love dirty things? My son is now toddling all over the place. The other day he was busy playing with his toys. One minute he was chewing on his rattle and the next he was very seriously tasting the bathroom doormat! I snatched this away and decided that he takes after his father (for his sense of hygiene and not because his dad chews on doormats). My son then very determinedly made his way for the dustbin. God knows what he would have done with that if I had not picked him up!

I left him in the hall and went to check something (I guess I ask for it!). When I came back, I see that he was busy checking out his father's shoe (I know! I know! My fault for not keeping it back into the shoe rack). He also loves my chappals, which is bright pink. When he spots this, he rushes to it hoping he can get there before I do. When there is nothing around, he decides to taste the floor.

So ensure that dirty stuff is not lying around... Hopefully, he will get rid of his obsession.

Smart Kid!

The affordance of my entertainment unit is really high. What is affordance? According to Wikipedia, "An affordance is a quality of an object, or an environment, that allows an individual to perform an action." How do you know whether you need to unscrew the lid or push the lid shut? How do you know whether the door needs to be pushed or pulled?

Now, getting back to how I figured that the affordance of my entertainment unit is high. My seven month old son holds the handle and pulls the draw open and then closes it. He does this for all the three handles that he can reach. Even a baby knows that the draw can be pulled open and pushed close!

(Sorry for the title, you must know how all mothers are proud if their son even if they do nothing at all!)

Try, Try Again Till You Succeed

What determination kids have... You know the story of the spider that tried to climb the wall again and again... try, try again till you succeed. You only need to look at your child to see this in action.

Experiment
You need a baby who is now moving (forward, backward, rolling, crawling, toddling). Place an object that you know will capture their attention in their vision. Wait patiently. They will do everything possible to reach this object. You pull them back. They will again try to make their way to the object.

Warning: They can be pretty fast. Therefore, avoid keeping dangerous or valuable objects.

They are so determined! My son crawls a distance, sits and then scans the area for interesting objects. He sees his toys and continues to check for greener grass. When he spots something that cannot be categorized as his toy, he very determinedly makes his way to it. It is really cute! I feel so terrible when my son successfully reaches the mobile/remote/wire and I have to pluck it out of his hands. Poor thing, all that effort for nothing.

Have you noticed that you don't actually have to buy them toys? They love playing with non-toys such as vessels, remotes, wires, cell phones, polythene covers, newspapers, shoes, door mats and so on. When they are through playing, they also like to taste it. It is pure pleasure to watch a baby in action!

Is he hungry?

Baby cries... people ask, 'Is he hungry?' You say 'No, I just fed him half an hour ago.' Baby continues to cry and people say ' I think he is hungry. Look at his stomach, it is flat. There is nothing in it. He is a baby, if he pees twice he will be hungry again.'

Why do people always assume that the baby is crying because he/she is hungry? Babies cry. It could be because they are hungry, thirsty, sleepy or they are feeling hot, cold, uncomfortable or are just simply cranky. Try feeding your baby out of turn and see how he/she is totally disinterested after a few sips. Bottle feed goes by the clock. Babies never feel hungry out of turn. Remember the time you fed your baby and you will always know when your baby is really hungry... Milk is not a magic portion and it is definitely not the answer to everything.

Soiled Diaper - Help!

Yesterday, I had gone to a hotel. I think it was called Ethelle or something (it didnt register in my mind). We were waiting for food to arrive at the restaurant, when I realized that I had to change my baby's diaper. The only restroom was located in the lobby and this was so small that there was no way I could do what I had planned. So I approached the reception and explained the situation and asked whether they had a restroom which had a changing table or some area where I could change the diaper. They looked quite disinterested and said that they had only one restroom (some hotel!). I had to take my baby to the parking lot, lay him down in the car and change his diaper. With a cranky baby, changing diaper in the car can be quite comical. This made me conscious to the fact that few places have this facility.

I really appreciate lifestyle for their feeding/mother's room. Lifestyle provides a baby lotion, nursing pads for the mother(!), baby powder, baby wipes, and nappies. (This is why I love lifestyle. Well, also because of the clothes :)) This room was also there in the airport. A huge room with two neat beds, a TV (!), a wash basin and curtains for privacy. When I had gone to SKC, a shopping complex, they had asked me to use the trial room. At least they offered something! I think more places should have such facilities. Makes our lives so much easier.

Life Transformed

How life changes after the birth of a little one...

• We become more health conscious. Since you want to feed your kid healthy food, you end up eating healthy too. You stop dining out so often (Not because you are health conscious... But because your kid has started yanking stuff off the table and/or refuses to stay in one place.)
  
• We become more sensitive to traffic etiquettes. I grit my teeth whenever a car honks like crazy while crossing my street. (They tend to these every time my kid is sleeping. And he is one light sleeper...)
• We ensure that the house is spic and span (at least the floor and any other areas that the baby can reach). Since we need to ensure that nothing that has the potential to be put in the mouth is place on the floor, the house is cleaner.
  
• We are more active. Taking care of a baby is no easy chore. You get to rest only when the kid is sleeping. When he/or she is not sleeping, you get to constantly change their nappies, follow them around to ensure they don't get into trouble, ensure they eat when they are in a mood to play, rock them for hours to make them sleep....
• The baby becomes the center of your universe. You plan things around them. Can I take him to the movie? Can I go to the parlour leaving him behind with hubby? Can I go shopping? Can I just relax now?
• You become a pro at multi tasking. You learn to do several things at the same time.
  
• You enjoy the smaller things in life. A tiny smile your way, warms up your heart. The first time they turned, the first time they moved forward, the way they play, their angelic faces as they sleep, the gurgles and sometimes a moment of peace and silence.
• Other people are more friendly to couples with children. They smile and the kid and then exchange pleasantries with you. They are very warm to mothers.