G.O.A

In the month of November, we headed for GOA. Vidur was very excited to see clouds outside the plane's window. As we went through a cloud, the turbulence scared a few. But, Vidur was thrilled. He eagerly pointed out of the window. Juice, crayons, and a coloring book kept him in one place.

The one hour long journey from the Airport to the resort was testing for adults as well as the children. Thought the children cribbed less. :) Finally, we reached the resort. The resort itself was lovely. Spacious rooms with lovely curtains and bedspreads. I fell in love with the place immediately. The weather was just right. Neither to hot, not cold.

We were a huge gang of 9 adults and 2 children. Goa was (needless to say) fabulous. We stayed at Resort Teraa Paraiso (lovely place!). As soon as we reached the resort, we had some yummy starters and the kids moved to the baby pool. Both, Rishabh and Vidur, are fascinated by water and there was no way we could keep them away from it. However, within five minutes both the kids drank some water. This changed their views. Both refused to go in. They stood on the edge and played with the colorful balls that Karthik was passing.

The next day when we got into the pool, the kids were still not sure. We had to coax Vidur in by distracting his attention. And it worked! Soon, he was enjoying himself and was passed from one adult to the other. The water was just lovely. Any trip is fab or not based on the company and how the kids behave. Both the children were absolute angels! They loved the bike rides around Goa. I think it helped that most of us had already seen Goa. Therefore, unlike most sight seers, we were glad to just see selected places and ensured that we did not cram everything in a day. We had to keep in mind kid's routines. Therefore, the stay in Goa was relaxing and the kids were also in great mood as their routine was not disturbed too much.

Vidur was also fascinated by the beach! He was thrilled that he was allowed to play in the sand and water. Goa cruise was another thing that we enjoyed. Vidur started dancing to the beat even before the program begun. When the program began, kids were asked to come to the stage and danced. Vidur was waiting for this! We had to drag him off the stage. :)

The trip was perfect! No cranky babies, no tantrums, lovely company, several favorite uncles for the kids, lovely resort, yummy food, and FAB Goa!

Letter to Tata Sky

Dear Tata Sky,

When I first subscribed to your service, I wondered who would ever watch the 100 channel. Why? The same advertisement, say Metlife insurance, plays over an over again for an hour or so. But, today, I realize its true value. I must apologize for not seeing its importance earlier.

I would like to take a moment to thank you for airing this channel. This channel keeps me sane. It ensures that my patience levels are not tested. My two year old son needs to watch advertisements to eat his food. His attention is totally and completely captured by ads and therefore, he does not realize that he is being fed. Earlier, I used to surf through channels searching for ads. Now, am glad that I have rediscovered Channel 100 and the fact that Vidur does not get bored of the same ad. He can watch the same ad for ages and not get bored. I prefer the coca cola ads. Why? Coca cola ads show Thumbs up, Maaza, Coca Cola, Limca and so on and therefore, it provides some variation for me.

Thanks once again!
Relieved Mommy

Party Time!

I know... it has been ages since I blogged. I came online thinking I will work. Then, I realized I just had to blog about today's experience.

We were invited to Rajeev's boss' kid's party. Vidur had a fabulous time. There were kids (obviously), lots of balloons, b'day caps, goodies, cake, chocolate fountain, scrumptious starters, yummy food, and ice cream. As soon as we entered, we were greeted by Mickey Mouse. Before I go ahead, I must explain something. Vidur watches Mickey Mouse Club House on Disney channel everyday. This is more of a ritual. He needs to watch the cartoon to drink his milk. Therefore, Vidur was excited to see a life size Mickey (though I think if Mickey was real, he would not be as tall as an average human). Vidur ran around whilst keeping an eye on what the older boys were up to. As the other children and adults played games, he danced. He also managed to trouble a few other children by snatching their balloon or pulling their shirts.

Five minutes after we got there, Vidur made his presence felt by pulling out the balloons decorated around the table on which the cake was kept. The host was kind enough to say this is what kids must do! After the games, Vidur got a really cute car tattoo on his hand. I had waited till almost the end to get it done. This is because I was so sure that he will not sit in one place or he will ruin the tattoo or his/my clothes. But guess what? He did neither. He sat still as the tattooist drew a red car on his hand. As soon as the tattoo was done, Vidur sat still for another five minutes as I blew into the color to help it dry faster.

There was a clown who made those balloons that twist into a fancy shapes. The clown made a crown like thing for Vidur. Vidur, however, refused to let the clown place it on his head. I suspect he was scared of the clown's colorful hair and red nose. Quite frankly, I find clowns scary rather than funny (I did ensure that Vidur was not aware of my bias. I would prefer if he forms his own opinions :)). They are too colorful and have wide scary mouths on a painted face.

Next was Mickey's turn. Vidur ran to Mickey. He turned, looked at me and said 'mickey'. I was quite surprised as I had not expected Vidur to make the connection. Mickey was very friendly. He ignored the few naughty kids who threw paper pieces at him. I guess he is used to this. Vidur watched other kids shake hands with Mickey. He would put his hand out, but quickly snatch it back when Mickey made a move to hold his hand. I am not sure if he was scared. But, he refused to go nearer or touch Mickey. He was fascinated though and continued to jump out of Mickey's way with a giggle. I guess life size versions of cartoon's are also scary? Not sure... Anyways, the bottom line is Vidur had a great time! Birthday parties are fun.

Adventurous Vidur

Vidur has become more of everything. He is more naughty, more active, more accident prone, more violent, more stubborn, and the list just continues. He has so much of restless energy in him. I was told by my boss that this is the beginning of the 'Terrible Twos' phase. I must admit that sounds very scary. Weren't things terrible enough? :)

What does he do with all that energy?

Event 1:
The TV cabinet is Vidur's favorite hangout. It looks like this (given on the left).

Vidur loves climbing the side where the books are stacked and watching out of the window. We have to be careful though, things may fly out of the window. Based on his mood, he tries one of the following:
a. Climb the grills to hang on the curtain rod.
b. Climb on the TV to explore the colorful glass vases kept on the other side.

As you can imagine, both are extremely scary!

Event 2:
He throws everything down the balcony. I have to share this with you. It was a Saturday and after cleaning up my cupboard, I was watching a movie with Rajeev. Vidur was playing with his building blocks. I sent an SMS to a cousin and then left it near me on the floor. After this, I went to the kitchen, made dinner and then watched another movie. Sunday, I start looking for my phone. I was unable to find it. Rajeev and I searched the entire house, but no luck. I get the message 'The phone is switched off.' when called my number. This was weird because there was some charge left. I declared the phone lost. I had a fleeting suspicion that Vidur must have something to do with it. He must have thrown my phone down the balcony. Anyway, we give up and I decide I am not going to replace my phone till Vidur is older.

Monday evening, a few auto drivers come looking for me. I know these auto drivers as they are from the auto stand I use to go to the bank or take Vidur to his doctor. I wondered what they were doing there when I suddenly see my phone in the hand of an auto driver. He asked me whether the phone was mine. I said yes and asked him where he got it from. I had not traveled in an auto for over a week and was sure that I had not left it there. He said that some children in their colony were playing with different parts of the phone. He put it together and found my photos in the phone's camera gallery. Therefore, they thought it might be mine. I was stunned at how my phone had found its way back to me. My guess is that my son did throw my phone down. Some child must have entered the compound and found the parts of my phone. The rest you already know.

I thanked the auto drivers profusely. I offered them money, but they firmly refused it saying that they returned it because they knew me. They said they were not expecting anything in return. Nice people.

Event 3:
Vidur climbs everything that has a grill on it. He climbs the windows using the headrest of the bed as footing. He hangs on the curtain rail to switch on the air conditioner. He also climbs the small grilled part of the balcony to get on to the bigger grilled area. Though the grill is locked always, it is scary because he climbs all the way to the top. There was this time when I was talking on the phone and this boy climbed the grill. I run to ensure that I am near him. Vidur decided to try free falling. He just lets go. Thankfully, my reflexes worked well that day. I dropped the phone and immediately caught him. I take no chances these days.

He is extremely accident prone these days. He falls often. He has cut his tougue, burnt himself slightly, and cut his chin. He had to get stiches on his chin. Overnight, my over cautious boy had converted into an adventurous daredevil. Just today, he walked into the wall! Off all things! So, am hoping that this phase passes over quickly and Vidur is safe from himself again!

Deepa's Wedding

A lot has happened since I last blogged. Have been putting off blogging as there is so much that I have to capture in this space and have been busy and lazy! What has kept me so busy? Well, first there was my sister's wedding, work, and ofcourse, my son, Vidur.

Vidur was very busy before Deepa's wedding as he was helping my mother and me shop for the wedding. He has run around in circles and entertained everyone at Nalli, Kumaran, RMKV, Joy Allukas, and several more shops. Thankfully, people in Chennai are very child-friendly and therefore, they laugh at all his antics. Of course, the downside is that Vidur is thrilled by the positive attitude and therefore, he gets hyper and uncontrollable! Not only was Deepa's wedding memorable, the days before were equally special! Karthik, Deepa, Harish, and Rishabh came early. Vidur and Rishabh (Karthik's 1 year 10 month old baby) had a lovely time. Their relationship seems to oscilate between love and hate. :D One minute they would be kissing/hugging each and the next, one would get whacked by the other. Both were fighting for Harish's attention. If you don't know who Harish is. Here is a short description. Harish is a child magnet. He is absolutely GREAT with children. Vidur is generally a mommy's boy. He loves people but most times I have to be around him. But, as soon as Vidur sees Harish, he doesn't need me. This fascination was a blessing for me before and during the wedding! Harish, on several instances, as given me a nice, long break from being mom! He would take care of Vidur and allow me to just breathe for a sec! (Bless you, Hairsh!)

Deepa's wedding was a lot of fun! Vidur had a blast. Vidur loves Deepa's in laws a lot. We, the girl's side, had gone to greet the boy's side. As soon as they arrived, Vidur jumped from me to Sriram's (Deepa's husband) father. Vish uncle is another person who is great with children. He stops so talk to every child he meets. Children love him too. Vidur is equally fond of Mythili aunty. There are times when he refuses to back home with us. :) Sriram is also a perfect uncle who tried to do EVERYTHING (hee hee) possible to make Vidur stop crying.

What he loved most about Deepa's wedding were the plastic chairs in the hall. He and Rishabh seemed to take it onto themselves to rearrange the chairs. (This really bugged my father! But there was no stopping these two. :)) Megha took on the role of an elder sister. She monitored their movements.

For the reception, Vidur and Rishabh were dressed in identical suits. They looked absolutely adorable! The most memorable incident was when the band began to play and Vidur began to dance. First, he was dancing right at the back. He realized that he was not getting enough attention. He ran all the way to the front and then began to dance. He would pause in between to check if he was being watched. If no, he would call out and demand that they watched him. I was really proud as he danced very gracefully. ;) He danced for 1.5 hours straight with no breaks in between. There was no stopping him.

Like I said, Deepa's wedding was incredibly fun, touching, and very memorable for all of us!!

Play areas and schools

A few months back Kavitha (my cousin) called and suggested we take the kids out. My hubby was in Madurai conducting training and both Vidur and I were equally bored. I therefore, jumped at the idea of taking the kids to a place where they can play. Kavitha took us (Aarav, Vidur, and me) to a play school called Hanzel and Gratel. This place has a five rooms:
1. One had 4-5 mini cars and a see-saw
2. A toy house which allows the kids to play inside it; this room also has several toys
3. A box full of colorful balls and small play pen
4. A desk, coloring books, crayons, storybooks
5. A screen to view cartoons and animations

My husband reflected that it is sad that we need to take our children to places such as this and that they don't play in the streets as he used to as a child. This is true. In our apartments, there are no kids of Vidur's age. Most people are retired. Who will Vidur play with? I hope we have an oppurtunity to move into a complex full of young families with children, next time around. Till then, we have to make do with such places. I am grateful that there are play areas such as these that give my child an option to play with other children. No wonder mothers put their children in play schools very early these days. I can sense the restless energy in Vidur and he must be terribly bored playing with adults all the time. I also feel that children pick things up really quickly when they go to play schools.

Similarly, I had taken to Magic Hats (in Sathyam Complex). Here, you can leave your child while you watch a movie. They have a huge slide, an area full of color balls, several toys, computer games, and a huge screen to watch cartoons. The ladies there are trained to take care of children (really young children also). They also give the children buscuits, juice, and bread. I am not ready to let go of my boy, therefore, while Rajeev watched a movie with his friends, I stayed with Vidur in the play area. Vidur did not have company as most other children were older than him. I must say older children are very mean to younger children (my sis says I was pretty mean to her too! :/). I guess most of them are too grown up to play with a 1+ child. They only want to play with children their own age or older. Anyway, Vidur had a great time and that's what matters.

Last weekend, we took him to Fun City (in Citi Center). They have a small play area for smaller children and a parent is allowed to accompany their child. Vidur was very clingy that evening and he refused to go to my sister. Then he noticed that Deepa was entering the play area and he immediately jumped to her. He thoroughly enjoyed himself. He went down the slide and climbed up the slide, threw a few balls out and then collected them and put them in again, moved the huge blocks out of the toy house, played on the see saw... my mom, sis, and I, enjoyed watching him play.

What holds Vidur's attention?

I am feeling very guilty about not blogging. It has been a long time. Work, my sister's marriage preparations, and Vidur kept me busy. I have been dying to share the list of things that fascinate Vidur. Here they are:

Animals
Firstly, he loves dogs (I love dogs too and therefore, I am secretly proud of this!) He stops to talk to a stray dog and enjoys watching Micky (my parent's dog) on the Webcam. He loves his stuffed doggie. He gives it a hug very often and carries it around. He also feeds it whatever he is eating. He insists that the doggie open its mouth and so, he keeps saying 'aaaa, aaaa'. They make a cute picture. He is also fascinated by other animals. He loves watching the goats eat garbage from the balcony. During his evening walks, he stops and stares at the cow (with huge, colourful horns) that is tied to a pole. He thoroughly enjoyed his time at the Doha zoo. Vandalur zoo was a big disappointment for him. (will not go into the details here; it was my fault after all. All the animals were in their den and we were under the hot, merciless sun hoping for a glimse!)

Escalators
Vidur loves escalators. He insists on standing on it as it takes him up. When it is over, he demands that he be taken on it again. We had taken him to Citi Center last weekend. There are four pairs of escalators in this mall. He loved every minute of it. He is yet to understand that escalators are unidirectional and kept insisting that we go back to the one we left. So, rather than have him run around the mall pulling stackes of clothing with him, we prefer accompanying Vidur on the escalator over and over again.

Beach
A huge gang - My parents, sister, grandmother, sister's future in-laws, hubby, vidur and I - visited the beach two weeks back. It was a pleasant evening. Vidur enjoyed playing with the sand. He took a fistful of sand and threw it around. He was not too keen about the water and the waves. He refused to stand in the water. :) He played football with other kids (for about a minute). His dad promptly bought him a ball. But Vidur was through playing football. He wanted to now cover the plastic stools near the bhaji stall with sand. His grandfather made him sit in a merry-go-round. He looked majestic sitting in a red car. He was very reluctant to leave it.

Electrical Machines
He has to be around when we switch on the TV, microwave, blender, grinder, or open the fridge. He has learnt to switch the TV on/off using the big round button on the TV. We are having a really diffciult time getting him to stop. The naugty boy watches the ads and switches it off when my program begins!

Ads
Vidur is facinated by commercial advertisements. Regardless of whether it is a fairness cream or a Harpic ad, he loves it. He stares at the screen in awe. My cousin's son, Aarav and Rishabh, also love ads. So it must be the catchy tone, the attention grabbing incidents that capture their interest.

Music
He hears a tune and he starts dancing. He dances when our neighbor plays music, when a car with a musical tune reverses, anything that sings. It is a pleasure to watch him enjoy the music.

Vidur's first haircut

Vidur's hair had started curling at the ends. He was looking shabby in a very cute way. I decided to give him a haircut. It is getting really hot here and because he is so active, his hair is always dripping sweat. So, I took him to Green Trends for his first haircut. There I was asked whether I wanted him to use the electric razor. I said No, please use the scissors to trim his hair. Green Trends has a separate kids section. The person asked me whether Vidur would sit alone. I said no, can I make him sit on my lap as you cut his hair. He said ok and escorted me to the gents sections.

From here, things got tough. The person cutting Vidur's hair was very patient and kept talking to him. You must be wondering what Vidur's reaction to the scissors was. Well, he was fascinated. He wanted to turn his head an watch his hair being cut. We had to distract him to stop him. What I love about salons is that it has mirrors. Vidur loves mirrors. Like I have mentioned in my previous posts, Vidur loves to look at himself and give himself a kiss. So he sat still for sometime. He snipped and snapped a lot. But it seemed to take a really long time. And Vidur did not plan to sit idle for so long. He again tried to look at the scissors. We tried to distract him using our phones. The hairdresser was finding it incredibly difficult to cut Vidur's hair while he sat on my lap. So I had to make him stand on my lap. I am sure this must have looked very comical to a third person. The hairdresser managed to cut off the curls, but was not able to give Vidur a close cut. The middle of his head still seemed to stand up. I decided that this was sufficient for a first haircut. I got back home.

I was thrilled about Vidur's new look. But guess what?! No one noticed that Vidur had had a haircut. They didn't believe me. I was reminded of Aamir Khan's dialogue in Andaz Apna Apna 'Baal kate bhi hai aur patha bhi nahi chalta!'

Vidur being Vidur in a train full of people

I had planned a fun long weekend at Bangalore. There were two reasons why i opted for Shathabdi Express:

1. My cousin advised me that chair car travel may be better than a sleeper berth. She advised this because she had traveled with me last time in the night train. She had witnessed Vidur howl his heart away.
2. I was really not sure which to opt for. Also, I was eager to start my holiday faster by reaching there the same day.
   

I boarded Shathabi at 5:00 pm. As I settled into my seat, I scanned around. There were two old men seated at the window and middle seat. The old man in the middle was reading a very serious looking book on religion and God. He did not look up till Vidur kicked him in his excitement. The old man looked very seriously at his thigh, repositioned himself (probably in the hope of increasing the distance between my son and himself), and got back to his book. This was when I realized that this journey was not going to be a pleasant one. I gave Vidur some milk. I could imagine the old man seated next to me look at me through the corner of his eye. He must have wondered how I was going to mix the milk with a hyper child on my lap. However, I managed to do this task efficiently (I was praying through out!). I enjoyed the few minutes of not having to control Vidur as he was busy slurping. As soon as the milk was over, Vidur decided he must be let down. I managed to keep him on my lap till the train started. Once off my lap, Vidur scanned the environment. He was happy to see that there were so many people.

He ran up to a big, bearded man with a skull cap. He was fascinated by his beard and he reached out to give it a tug. Luckily, the man moved away anticipating Vidur's intention. Vidur decided to walk all the way down the aisle. On the way, he stopped to talk to people, tap them on their arms to draw their attention. There were two people seated along the aisle, working on their laptops. One of them was very sweet to Vidur and he encouraged him to bang on his laptop. The other was not sure how to get Vidur to stop doing what he was doing. He was probably thinking to himself, 'Where's the mother? Shouldn't she be teaching her son some manners?' Vidur continued walking up and down, enjoying himself thoroughly.

I boarded the train looking like an optimistic mother with an angel for a child. Thirty minutes later, I was looking hassled with a naughty little prankster for a child. Most people responded beautifully to Vidur. But, I couldn't allow him to trouble people over and over again. People had other things to do like eat and sleep in peace. The final straw was when the server serving hot tea and coffee said 'Please take your child out of the way. Coffee is hot.' What he said made sense, but what was I supposed to do? Vidur refused to sit in one place. He had gotten the taste of freedom and was not about to let go so easily.

To top it all, Vidur was very sleepy. I had hoped he would sleep once the train started. But, Vidur had other plans. Sleepy Vidur was not able to walk straight and was swaying dangerously on his feet. I did not have much of a choice. I spent most of the journey from here standing outside the AC compartment near the toilet (I would have used the term restroom, but that really does not qualify for our trains). Vidur was very upset. I had taken his freedom away and separated him from all those people! He tried to get down. When this didn't work, he tried howling his protest. I desperately tried to make him sleep. Several really nice people stopped to talk to me about the kid and what I do. All I kept thinking is, 'I am trying to make him sleep. Can't you see?' But I am really grateful, else my journey would have been absolutely boring. I also got advised that should try the night train next time. I should let Vidur tire himself out during the day so that he sleeps peacefully in the train.

Finally, 90 minutes before the end of the journey, Vidur gave in. I could finally go sit in my seat. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep too. By this time the other children in the train were up and were playing. Their noise and the general excitement of people when a train is approaches its destination woke Vidur up half an hour before the actual arrival. The children were happy to see Vidur was up. Vidur was desperately trying to rub sleep off his eyes. He gave up and closed his eyes again. A kid right then screamed hello into his ear. Startled Vidur was finally up and I was so bugged with that kid. Vidur decided that it was time t get off the train now. He insisted that I stand and lept pointing toward the door. The train finally stopped and Harish (my cousin) and Deepa (my sister) finally relieved me of Vidur and my luggage.

I am not going to travel anywhere for some time. I need time to recharge my batteries...

Meet My Parents

His grandmother has to (I mean HAS TO) see him at least for a minute everyday. I constantly remind her, I am working come later. If she doesn't see him once in a day, she accuses me of having kept her away from her grandson! So, this has become a routine off late. Every time Vidur hears my computer ringing, he drops everything and scrambles on to my lap ready to pose for my parents. My mother has taught him to give a flying kiss through the webcam (using web 2.0 to teach? ;)). As soon as the webcam is switched on, Vidur gets into his act. He starts counting, dancing, talking, shooting flying kisses so that mother and father can go all oooh so sweet and all.

On days when my father joins in all the fun, he sings Vidur's favourite (actually my dad's favourite and all of Doha can vouch for this) song "pulang guzhal". Vidur starts dancing for my father (father loving his reaction sings the whole song!). When my mother shows Micky (yes, we are a crazy family :)), Vidur gets so exicted. My mother feels snubbed as she believes that Vidur is more excited to see Micky than her. Micky looks absolutely frightened, hoping that Vidur will not jump out of the computer and make her nightmares real. :D

Vidur used to find it increasingly awkward to wave bye bye to the computer. But he has got the hang of it. He talks, dances, waves and enjoys all the attention he gets. He basks in the glory of being loved by his grandparents who are miles and miles away.

More than a handful

Vidur is very naughty! For most questions, he responds with a yes these days. The only two questions to which he says a no to are:
1) Shall we give the rest of your food to the crow?
2) Do you want to sleep? (even he is dead tired)

I was very proud that my son says amma (mother) and appa (father). But lately he has derived his own meaning for these. He says amma to anyone whose attention he wants to gain. He says abba (derived from ba which means come) when he wants to be lifted and when he doesn't want someone to leave him and go. So, most people will wonder why this child is screaming amma and appa when they are standing right next to him.

Recently people are asking me, "so has he started talking?" I am not sure how to answer this. He is talking, mostly baby talk. He talks a lot to himself also (I always thought it was a sign of being crazy). He is not talking English or Tamil if that's what people are asking. He uses several Tamil words in his diction such as amma, appa, anna, thatha but all these have completely different meanings than what is univerally accepted. (BTW I refuse to feel worried that my son has not begun 'talking'. He will 'talk' when he is ready. I am constantly adviced that I must keep talking to him. I do talk to him! People are so quick to judge how you are as a mother.)

Most days, I spend in guilt thinking "Am I losing my patience more often these days?" He is always doing things he is not supposed to be doing, eating things he is not supposed to be eating, and being in places where he should not be. If I look away for even a minute, he may open the shoe rack and taste a shoe, eat mud from the potted plants, play with his own pee or shit, grab anything interesting enough from the edge of the table, and so on.

Vidur has the learnt the age old trick of protesting using tears if reprimanded. Today, he hit me on the head several times with a big block (talk about a whole new angle to domestic violence). In turn, I glared at him and snatched the blocks from his hand. He immediately started howling as though I had struck him. When I tried to console him, he tried to whack me again! As per his rules, he should be allowed to whack me. How do I handle this? I have tried explaining saying 'Amma paavum" (meaning mom is a poor thing). Doesn't work, he still wants to hit me. I am sure he still loves me though. You can only take such liberties with your mother (hee hee). After all this, he still manages to look like an angel when he is asleep.

Ginott's take on communicating with your kid

I was doing some work related research when I came across Haim Ginott's Communications Approach on Wikipedia. I have pasted the content below.

The following serve to illustrate Dr. Ginott's communications approach:

• Never deny or ignore a child's feelings.
• Only behavior is treated as unacceptable, not the child.
• Depersonalize negative interactions by mentioning only the problem. "I see a messy room"
• Attach Rules to things, e.g., "Little sisters are not for hitting."
• Dependence breeds hostility. Let children do for themself what they can.
• Children need to learn to choose but within the safety of limits. "Would you like to wear this blue shirt or this red one?"
• Limit criticism to a specific event - don't say 'never', 'always', e.g. "You never listen learn," "You always manage to spill things", etc.
• Refrain from using words that the child may repeat unwantedly

My Support System

In the month of Dec-Jan, I was very sick. Most doctors thought it was viral fever. But it refused to go away. I had just gotten back from Doha and was feeling no better. My hubby nearly panicked when my temperature sky rocketed to 104. Finally, with no time to prepare, I had to be admitted in hospital. We called my in laws and requested them to come immediately. They were ready to leave as soon as possible. They decided against the flight and opted for the evening train. My father in law managed to somehow get tickets. I wanted Rajeev to be with Vidur and therefore, requested my darling grandmom to stay with me. Ever ready to help, she was ready to come keep me company. My mother and sister kept calling me to know what was happening. My mom (against my advice) decided to take the next flight out to come take care of me. I was honestly glad she was coming. My mother in law would take care of Vidur and my mother can take care of me. Hubby was under a lot of pressure to balance home, work and hospital. :) But he did everything he could and I love him for that.

I was in the hospital for almost 6 six days. Each day away from Vidur was very painful. Like most people, I take my family for granted. But today, I would like to take a moment to give them their due. I feel so loved; whenever I am in trouble, there are so many people who will put their lives on hold to ensure mine is functioning smoothly. What would I do without the love of such people. Especially my mother, she spoils me rotten. She took great care of me, listened to my nonsense, consoled me when I was down, never let me lift a finger till I was absolutely capable, put up with my mood swings, and many many more smaller things through which she showed her love. Mothers are afterall mothers, I guess.

BTW, we found a fiance for my sister because I fell sick. My mom was able to attend a marriage because she was here. Her friend suggested that there was a really nice boy from a very nice family. Everything worked out perfectly! Sriram is the sweetest guy I have ever met and his family is very, very warm and genuine. Like they say, somethings happen for the good.

Blog Personality Type

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.








I am really not sure whether this is true. My blog personality for Speak Out is different. I guess the writing style is different (?). But, seemed interesting enough to try once. Check out your blog personality type at Typealyzer

Kids and Computer Games

My husband and I had visited my neighbor's place. As with all parents, the topics revolved around children, school and play. My hubby pointed out that most children today are protected. They do not have a playground to play in, they sit in AC classrooms. My neighbor agreed and said that most children are hooked to TVs and computer games. She mentioned that she encouraged her children to read several books. She said these days children are so hooked to the TV and computer games. My attention was caught. I replied saying I think computer games are good for children. She said yes but I don't think she believed me. I don't blame her, most parents would not agree with me.

I really, really believe that computer games help children think, strategize, and even learn. It helps them analyze situations and gives them a lot of confidence. It encourages them to achieve something and not give up till they do. I grew up playing cricket, TT, hide and seek with my sis and cousin. I also grew up playing several computer games such as Prince of Persia, Alladin, Mario Brothers, Packman, Mortal Combat, Road Rash, Need for Speed, Wolfenstein, and so on. These were most single player games then (or we had just one joystick) but we stick played as a team. And, it was absolutely fun! :)

It is important for children to find the right balance between indoor and outdoor activities. Parents can help them find this balance. I am waiting for my son to grow up so that I get an excuse to play some games. :D Let it not be only about studies. Let them play!

Why Compare?

Saturdays and Sundays are half days for my maid. I get to spend quality time with my son on these days. Every evening, Vidur goes in his tricycle for a walk. This Saturday I took him for his evening walk. I met several of his friends on the way. It is a pleasure to watch him as he scans his environment for interesting things. He talks to people on the way.

My maid always mentions an old man who takes his grand daughter for a walk. Yesterday, I got to meet him. We chit chatted about the babies. Vidur and she are of the same age. He then told me that his granddaughter had not started standing without support and that everyone at home was anxious about this. I asked him whether she is standing holding onto to something and he said yes she is. I then consoled him saying don't worry she will do it soon. As she is pretty active, he should not worry. Each child is different.

This incident reminded me of several instances where mother/family members compare children of similar age. I remember when my son got teeth early, there were family member of other kids the same age telling me that teeth that come later are stronger. Really, do I have control over such things? Everything is compared. What tricks does your child do? How tall/heavy/fair is your child? Which doctor are you consulting? Are you sure she/he is good? Know what, my doctor is the best in the world. Seriously! Your child did this now, my kid did it ages ago. Puhlease! Why compare? Some kids do things early, while others take time. This does not mean that the kids who do things faster are going to be smarter than the ones who are slower.

Take pride in what your child does. It is special for you. For you, your child is the best and the smartest. Don't compare and doubt your child's learning curve. Also, please don't put down another child by proving that your child is smart.

New Tricks

Trick 1: Vidur used to vigorously shake his head indicating no. Now, he has learned the art of saying yes. So if you ask him 'Are you hungry?' He shakes his head confirming the same. If you ask him 'You want to be spanked?' He says yes to that too.

Trick 2: He, like most other kids, loves the fan. As soon as the fan is switched on, he lifts one hand, points up, and says 'an with a grin on his face.

Trick 3: His maternal grandfather has taught him to count. My father spreads his palm out and counts to five (one-two-three-four-five) and then says 'Now your turn'. And, guess what he actually spreads out his tiny little palm and his stabs his index finger and says 'aa-aa-aa'.

Trick 4: His maternal grandfather (yes, he has been very busy) has also taught him to spot the moon. When outside, my dad asks him, 'Where's the moon?' and Vidur point at the moon and he puker his lips as if he were saying 'moo'.

Trick 5: His maternal grandmother has taught him to stir food. Whenever he see anyone near the stove, he insists that he is lifted and allowed to stir at least once.

Trick 6: Vidur dances to any tune he hears. He loves those toys that make a lot of noise and play some tune. (gives me a headache sometimes)

Trick 7: He goes round and round whenever someone sings ringa ringa roses. My cousin would deliberately sing at a public place, Vidur's face would light up, he would grab hold of my fingers and start moving round. He would then look very expectantly at me and wonders 'why is moming not falling down. She acts pretty crazy at home. '

My baby is not deprived

When I left from India for Doha, I took one Nan 2 can, one Ceralac and one Nestum. Ceralac and Nestum were almost empty cans, but I was really looking forward to exploring baby food available in the Gulf. I visited FFC (Family Food Center) and rushed to the baby food counter. I was very excited to find baby rusks. I grabbed a box. I thought my baby should have had access to this when he started teething. Nestum is not avaliable in the Gulf. My guess is that Nestum is specially packaged for India.

Ceralac was available and the flavors that were available were wheat and dates and wheat and fruits. I was very disappointed with what was available. In India, some of the options available are wheat with honey, wheat with orange, wheat with apple and cherry, and so on. Nestum also has several options, rice with fruits, rice with spinach, rice with dal, and rice with vegetables.

Guess what happened with the baby rusk, Vidur chewed on it for a few minutes and then threw it away. My doggie ate it. I have left befind the box of baby rusks in Doha for my dog. So, I declare that my baby is not deprived. He has access to so much, much more here.

Stairs - an adventure

My home in Doha is a duplex. As soon as you enter, you come to a lobby which also has a staircase leading upstairs. If you go straight, you take two steps down and further ahead is the TV room. In India, Vidur has never had an opportunity to climb up or down a staircase. My mother (yes, she does seem to worry alot :)) kept worrying about how Vidur was going to move around without hurting himself.

On the first day there, he made an attempt to climb the stairs. What made him want to go up? You guessed right! It was my doggie. Vidur was, however, very successful the first time round. He went on all fours. He did not touch his knees to the ground. He climbed the stairs effortlessly. The next day (by which time he had also started walking) he tried climbing the stairs standing on his feet supporting himself on the banister. My mother heaved a sigh of relief.

Now, my mother was worried about how he would come down the stairs. Vidur found a solution to that too. He would turn around and keep going back on his fours till he reached the step. (sometimes he would start reversing way too early :)). Thus, he mastered the art of climbing up and down the stairs.

Home Sweet Home

We were headed home (Doha) from the airport, my mother was a little apprehensive about how Vidur would react to my dog. Let me explain. Micky goes crazy when she sees us and she was seeing us after a very long time. As we entered the house, predictably, Micky rushed down the stairs and started howling, barking and jumping. Micky is a saluki mix (salukis are dogs used for hunting in the desert). My point being that she is reasonably big and quite ferocious looking. Vidur's reaction stunned all of us. He was in love! He was facinated by Micky. He wriggled out of my arms and made a dash for Micky. Micky, unfortunately, hates kids. She used to bark at them all the time when she was younger. Now, she barely puts up with them. She checked Vidur out and seemed to understand that he was family and she had to be nice to him.

Wherever Micky went, Vidur followed. Vidur walked again (after that stint at my grandmother's place) and the sole inspiration was my dog. He seemed to think he could reach her faster and make eye contact. Micky, however, ensured that she was always out of reach. Micky loves her evening walks. About an hour before the actual time, she gets excited and restless. The closer it gets to her walk time, the more excited she gets. Vidur tried to touch Micky when she was really eager to go for her walk. Micky started barking at Vidur. Vidur froze. He quickly looked at me to judge my reaction. When he saw that I was smiling, he clamped his hands together and had this look of absolute glee.

Though Micky acted pricy most of the time, when Vidur slept, she would got sniff him and wag her tail. She also slept next to him once when she thought he was upset over something. Vidur got braver by the day. He started trying to poke micky in the eye, pull her tail and so on. We had to keep a close watch on both. After all, Micky deserved to be rescued from Vidur!

Now that Vidur and I are back in India, he continues to display his love for doggies. He wants to touch the street dogs! I am not sure they are going to be as understanding as Micky.