School Hunting: A Terrifying Experience

Recently, I wrote a blog post on Understanding Your Learners: All things that you can do wrong. This post basically captured the experience of a parent during the admission process. My son is two now and I have started looking for good playschool. I have been thinking about sending him to school for some time now. Why?

1. He just loves going out. He hates being locked up in the house. He can spend hours outside without complaining.

2. He does not get an opportunity to play with kids his own age.

But what do I want from a school?

1. V must go to a place where he can have FUN. If enjoys himself, he will learn anyway.
2. It must have teachers who are warm, friendly, and likable.
3. It must have a playground.
4. The classroom must be neat, airy, and flooded with natural light.
5. Finally, this school should not be like regular school! (Read on you will understand what I mean)

I want the first exposure to learning to be a positive one. He should want to learn and not be forced to learn. Let me share some school hunting experience.

School 1: A charming school with a small playground, extremely friendly staff, and a lovely teaching concept. The only negative was that the classrooms did not have natural light. The staff were taking a break. They were really nice to Vidur. They spoke to him and shared a pastry with him. Vidur ran around pulling things that he was not supposed to. I turned and asked one of the staff "How do you handle hyper kids?' She smiled and said why would you want to label children. Needless to say, I was impressed.

School 2: As soon as I reached the gates of this school, I saw mothers standing outside waiting to pick their children up. I stepped forward and informed the teacher that I had an appointment with the principal. She asked whether it was regarding admissions. When I confirmed, she said please wait for the transition to get over. I had no idea what "transition" meant in this context. I moved away to wait. I saw a mother trying to feed her child. I approached her and asked her about the school.
Mother: My son took a long time to adjust to school and therefore, has hardly attended any classes. He keeps falling sick.
Me: Oh, I see. My son is two and I am looking around for good schools.
Mother: This school is supposed to be the best in town. But, why do you want to put your child in a school so early? The month of January has pongal holidays and then when they reopen they will have tests.
Me: They have tests for these children? (I wanted to run far away when I heard the word 'test')
Mother: It is more like oral examinations where they will ask what they have taught to the children. You should put your kid in school at the age of three. (By this time, I am wondering why she put her son in school this early. I am also reminded of a dialogue from the movie jab we met where Kareena asks the station master whether he takes money for his advice)
Me: I think he is ready now. He just loves going out and being with people.
Mother: Maybe you should try a creche/day school. They take kids of ages up to three. My kid keeps falling sick all the time.
Me: Oh that's sad. My son occasionally wheezes but otherwise he is fine.
Mother: Oh, you know what. Amway has a special product for wheezing. You take this tablet for 14 days and you will never get wheezing again. I can have somebody come home and demonstrate. When will you be free?

By this time, I realize that I have unconsciously walked into a sales trap. I don't know how to tell her I am not interested. So, I told her: 'Can it be used for children aged 2? I must check with the doctor and my husband.'

Thankfully, the teacher calls me and says the principal is now ready to meet me. The teacher herself was extremely grumpy looking. I don't think she could have smiled if her life depended on it. The principal spoke nicely enough, trying to convince me that this school was really good. She explained that my son will be put in a play group first and then moved to nursery later. She explained that playgroup comprised of 1.8-2.5 year old. The session will draw to a close in the month of June. I threw a trick question at her:
Me: Will my son miss something as classes have already been in progress?
Principal: No, we have revisions in the month of February, so he will make up for it.

Revision? Tests? What kind of place is this? My kid is 2. I just want him to have fun. I don't want a real school for him. I thanked her and ran away as fast as I could.

School 3: My husband visited another school. He met the in charge and explained that he had come to see the school. The lady started introducing the school by telling my husband: 'Children must be bought to school by 9. We will not allow late comers inside the school. If he is late, you have to take your son back and get him the next day. Please do not argue later.'

My husband was shocked. He said: 'I have come to see the school and you have already started giving me a list of rules?' The lady actually managed to look sheepish. The school itself was beautiful. Another rule that she mentioned was that the kid must be toilet trained to get admission. This had me wondering, even if my son was toilet trained, would he ask someone else to take him to the loo?

School 4: This was a cosy place with a huge playground, colorful tables, neat classrooms. It was a little further away from home. But, I was ready to invest in travel to ensure that my son got a good deal. My husband had already checked out this school and the rates. I was made to wait outside for 15 minutes while the cleaning took place. Several parents came to pick up their kids. I asked one of the parents whether this school was nice. She said 'yes it is good. I work and therefore, it is very useful.' I guess people have different notions of what makes a school good. Finally, I was allowed inside. The place was nice. As I spoke to them about the rates, I realized that they expected us to pay for the entire term even though only only two months were left! I asked her why would anyone pay as much? Obviously, she had no answer. It was take it or leave it. I decided to leave it. As I left this place, the lady asked me, 'How do you manage your son at home? He is so active!' This is when I thought to myself 'Now, you know why I am looking to put him in a school and if you don't know the answer to that, I don't want to put my son here.' I now suspect that she asked me for the whole terms fees hoping I would refuse to pay. My son scared them off. Yes, this is it!

I finally decided on School 1. I was called for an interview. The first black mark against me was that my husband was unable to attend as he was conducting training. I entered the room with Vidur in my arms. I did this to ensure that he stayed in one place. One of the ladies in the room asked me to put Vidur down. I did, and he promptly got off the chair and ran for the door. The lady said its ok and asked me which language he was comfortable with. I said Tamil and in Tamil she asked him whether he wanted to go out and let him out. So, it was going to be just me and them. The lady asked me why Rajeev didn't make it. I explained. They asked me to describe about myself and Rajeev. I explained. They were interested in my job as an ID and asked me to explain. Anyone who knows me knows never to talk about my job. Why? Because once I start talking about it, I take a long time to stop. But I managed to keep it short and explained what I did. She then asked me what I expected from education. I gave my funda borrowing from the philosophies we use at work to encourage adults to learn. My main point was 'make it fun and they will learn anyway'. They heard me out. Then they asked me whether Vidur's milestones were normal. When did he walk, talk, etc. I think parents should remember these details only if they are worried about it. Anyway, I gave them some numbers. They told me that he seemed very active and how did I manage him at home. I explained that he plays with his toys, loves going to the park, and watching TV. That caught their attention... The next obvious question was how much TV does he watch in a day. I thought to myself uh-ho. I explained that he watched Tom and Jerry when it is on. They let me off the hook! They concluded the meeting by saying they will get back in touch.

Vidur got admission in school 1 and I am happy about it. Now, all I need to do is ensure that the months fly by and my son does not destroy too many things! June come soon! ;)

Vidur's flight to Hyderabad

Vidur is now a big boy and all of his (almost) 2 years. He refuses to be carried when he wants to run around. He refuses to walk when he wants to be carried and most often than not, he gets his way. December end is vacation time all over the world and I am one of the few lucky people whose company shuts down for Christmas and New Years. This winter, Vidur and I planned to visit his paternal grandparents in Secunderabad.

I opted to travel by flight. I could bear to think of a night train journey alone with Vidur. I was quite sure he would drive me crazy. Rajeev left us at the airport. As soon as I scanned my luggage at the Air India counter, I saw two really huge lines. Basically, two counters were open and passengers for all flights were standing awaiting their turn. Vidur was sitting on top on my luggage on the trolley. He was enjoying the ride and therefore, hated it when I stopped to stand in the queue. The queue barely moved. Everyone was discussing with each other as to what the problem could be. Vidur in the meantime was getting restless and was miming away asking me to take him to the left or right. I tried to keep him occupied by giving him a piece of paper to tear.

My flight to Hyderabad was at 4:15. The gentleman standing in front of me asked me where I was going. He was also going to Hyderabad and was alarmed that it was 3:45. He said he would check with somebody. In the meantime, Vidur got off the trolley and started walking towards the exit. I stayed where I was, thinking he would turn back and check if he was being followed. But the brave boy just kept walking very purposefully. I had to run and carry him back to where my luggage was. Traveling light is an alien concept after you have a kid in the family. Finally, the kind gentleman told me that a separate queue had been formed for Hyderbad. Lucky for him, he was the first in that queue. I was the fourth. Another really long wait. I was seriously beginning to wonder is the Air India groundsman had fallen asleep over the passenger's tickets. Vidur was not totally bored. He ran off towards the security check. I went and got him back. He did not want to stand in the queue and therefore, saw it necessary to lie flat on the floor. The bachelors standing behind me the queue were witness to all this. They were extremely tickled. I realized how funny and cute the situation would have seemed to an outsider. But I was definetely and trule HASSLED. I cursed myself for traveling with check in baggage. Finally, I passed on a bottle of milk to Vidur. He was occupied for sometime. It was almost my turn and I was going to cry with relief. It was 4 now. A lady in brown salwar and long straight hair trotted to the begining of the queue and pushed her ticket forward. It was my turn and I was so furious. I asked her, 'Madam, do you see this long queue. We have been waiting for so long. How can you cut it?' She says "Sorry, but my flight is at 4:25." To this I replied, 'Oh really? My flight is at 4:15. I am a hassled mother do not mess with me!' By now both she and the AI staff were looking alarmed. He pushed her ticket back to her and asked for mine. I put my luggage on the weighing scale. AI uncle said 'Oh this does not seem to be working!' He then spent a good minutes trying to figure out whether my name was Archana Narayan or Nayanan A (as they write in tickets). He asked me and I gave him a look that meant that this is Airline terminology and I do not understand. After consultation with a fellow uncle, he finally gave me my boarding pass. You would think they would be efficient with small things such as check in! It was painful! I headed for the security check. An old lady was trying to adjust her baggage into the screening belt. I was waiting my turn, when the same lady in brown salwar cut the queue for the second time and tried to shove her luggage in. I yelled again 'There you go again! What is your problem?' She managed to look sorry but I wonder what gives some women the right to cut queues and demand special treatment!

Finally, I was in the plan. The plane did not take off till 5:00. The captain announced that the delay was caused by lost passengers. I was so tempted to get up and say it is because of your terribly slow grounds staff. But my hands were full. Vidur was very happy to see the small TV screen. He was bored soon thought. I had to do several things to ensure that he sat in one place for a whole hour. I wish the planes would have a kids area where they can play. Imagine they would be happy and will not bother others. Changing diapers is another challenge in the plane. Anyway, I was glad it was finally over...