School Hunting: A Terrifying Experience

Recently, I wrote a blog post on Understanding Your Learners: All things that you can do wrong. This post basically captured the experience of a parent during the admission process. My son is two now and I have started looking for good playschool. I have been thinking about sending him to school for some time now. Why?

1. He just loves going out. He hates being locked up in the house. He can spend hours outside without complaining.

2. He does not get an opportunity to play with kids his own age.

But what do I want from a school?

1. V must go to a place where he can have FUN. If enjoys himself, he will learn anyway.
2. It must have teachers who are warm, friendly, and likable.
3. It must have a playground.
4. The classroom must be neat, airy, and flooded with natural light.
5. Finally, this school should not be like regular school! (Read on you will understand what I mean)

I want the first exposure to learning to be a positive one. He should want to learn and not be forced to learn. Let me share some school hunting experience.

School 1: A charming school with a small playground, extremely friendly staff, and a lovely teaching concept. The only negative was that the classrooms did not have natural light. The staff were taking a break. They were really nice to Vidur. They spoke to him and shared a pastry with him. Vidur ran around pulling things that he was not supposed to. I turned and asked one of the staff "How do you handle hyper kids?' She smiled and said why would you want to label children. Needless to say, I was impressed.

School 2: As soon as I reached the gates of this school, I saw mothers standing outside waiting to pick their children up. I stepped forward and informed the teacher that I had an appointment with the principal. She asked whether it was regarding admissions. When I confirmed, she said please wait for the transition to get over. I had no idea what "transition" meant in this context. I moved away to wait. I saw a mother trying to feed her child. I approached her and asked her about the school.
Mother: My son took a long time to adjust to school and therefore, has hardly attended any classes. He keeps falling sick.
Me: Oh, I see. My son is two and I am looking around for good schools.
Mother: This school is supposed to be the best in town. But, why do you want to put your child in a school so early? The month of January has pongal holidays and then when they reopen they will have tests.
Me: They have tests for these children? (I wanted to run far away when I heard the word 'test')
Mother: It is more like oral examinations where they will ask what they have taught to the children. You should put your kid in school at the age of three. (By this time, I am wondering why she put her son in school this early. I am also reminded of a dialogue from the movie jab we met where Kareena asks the station master whether he takes money for his advice)
Me: I think he is ready now. He just loves going out and being with people.
Mother: Maybe you should try a creche/day school. They take kids of ages up to three. My kid keeps falling sick all the time.
Me: Oh that's sad. My son occasionally wheezes but otherwise he is fine.
Mother: Oh, you know what. Amway has a special product for wheezing. You take this tablet for 14 days and you will never get wheezing again. I can have somebody come home and demonstrate. When will you be free?

By this time, I realize that I have unconsciously walked into a sales trap. I don't know how to tell her I am not interested. So, I told her: 'Can it be used for children aged 2? I must check with the doctor and my husband.'

Thankfully, the teacher calls me and says the principal is now ready to meet me. The teacher herself was extremely grumpy looking. I don't think she could have smiled if her life depended on it. The principal spoke nicely enough, trying to convince me that this school was really good. She explained that my son will be put in a play group first and then moved to nursery later. She explained that playgroup comprised of 1.8-2.5 year old. The session will draw to a close in the month of June. I threw a trick question at her:
Me: Will my son miss something as classes have already been in progress?
Principal: No, we have revisions in the month of February, so he will make up for it.

Revision? Tests? What kind of place is this? My kid is 2. I just want him to have fun. I don't want a real school for him. I thanked her and ran away as fast as I could.

School 3: My husband visited another school. He met the in charge and explained that he had come to see the school. The lady started introducing the school by telling my husband: 'Children must be bought to school by 9. We will not allow late comers inside the school. If he is late, you have to take your son back and get him the next day. Please do not argue later.'

My husband was shocked. He said: 'I have come to see the school and you have already started giving me a list of rules?' The lady actually managed to look sheepish. The school itself was beautiful. Another rule that she mentioned was that the kid must be toilet trained to get admission. This had me wondering, even if my son was toilet trained, would he ask someone else to take him to the loo?

School 4: This was a cosy place with a huge playground, colorful tables, neat classrooms. It was a little further away from home. But, I was ready to invest in travel to ensure that my son got a good deal. My husband had already checked out this school and the rates. I was made to wait outside for 15 minutes while the cleaning took place. Several parents came to pick up their kids. I asked one of the parents whether this school was nice. She said 'yes it is good. I work and therefore, it is very useful.' I guess people have different notions of what makes a school good. Finally, I was allowed inside. The place was nice. As I spoke to them about the rates, I realized that they expected us to pay for the entire term even though only only two months were left! I asked her why would anyone pay as much? Obviously, she had no answer. It was take it or leave it. I decided to leave it. As I left this place, the lady asked me, 'How do you manage your son at home? He is so active!' This is when I thought to myself 'Now, you know why I am looking to put him in a school and if you don't know the answer to that, I don't want to put my son here.' I now suspect that she asked me for the whole terms fees hoping I would refuse to pay. My son scared them off. Yes, this is it!

I finally decided on School 1. I was called for an interview. The first black mark against me was that my husband was unable to attend as he was conducting training. I entered the room with Vidur in my arms. I did this to ensure that he stayed in one place. One of the ladies in the room asked me to put Vidur down. I did, and he promptly got off the chair and ran for the door. The lady said its ok and asked me which language he was comfortable with. I said Tamil and in Tamil she asked him whether he wanted to go out and let him out. So, it was going to be just me and them. The lady asked me why Rajeev didn't make it. I explained. They asked me to describe about myself and Rajeev. I explained. They were interested in my job as an ID and asked me to explain. Anyone who knows me knows never to talk about my job. Why? Because once I start talking about it, I take a long time to stop. But I managed to keep it short and explained what I did. She then asked me what I expected from education. I gave my funda borrowing from the philosophies we use at work to encourage adults to learn. My main point was 'make it fun and they will learn anyway'. They heard me out. Then they asked me whether Vidur's milestones were normal. When did he walk, talk, etc. I think parents should remember these details only if they are worried about it. Anyway, I gave them some numbers. They told me that he seemed very active and how did I manage him at home. I explained that he plays with his toys, loves going to the park, and watching TV. That caught their attention... The next obvious question was how much TV does he watch in a day. I thought to myself uh-ho. I explained that he watched Tom and Jerry when it is on. They let me off the hook! They concluded the meeting by saying they will get back in touch.

Vidur got admission in school 1 and I am happy about it. Now, all I need to do is ensure that the months fly by and my son does not destroy too many things! June come soon! ;)

Vidur's flight to Hyderabad

Vidur is now a big boy and all of his (almost) 2 years. He refuses to be carried when he wants to run around. He refuses to walk when he wants to be carried and most often than not, he gets his way. December end is vacation time all over the world and I am one of the few lucky people whose company shuts down for Christmas and New Years. This winter, Vidur and I planned to visit his paternal grandparents in Secunderabad.

I opted to travel by flight. I could bear to think of a night train journey alone with Vidur. I was quite sure he would drive me crazy. Rajeev left us at the airport. As soon as I scanned my luggage at the Air India counter, I saw two really huge lines. Basically, two counters were open and passengers for all flights were standing awaiting their turn. Vidur was sitting on top on my luggage on the trolley. He was enjoying the ride and therefore, hated it when I stopped to stand in the queue. The queue barely moved. Everyone was discussing with each other as to what the problem could be. Vidur in the meantime was getting restless and was miming away asking me to take him to the left or right. I tried to keep him occupied by giving him a piece of paper to tear.

My flight to Hyderabad was at 4:15. The gentleman standing in front of me asked me where I was going. He was also going to Hyderabad and was alarmed that it was 3:45. He said he would check with somebody. In the meantime, Vidur got off the trolley and started walking towards the exit. I stayed where I was, thinking he would turn back and check if he was being followed. But the brave boy just kept walking very purposefully. I had to run and carry him back to where my luggage was. Traveling light is an alien concept after you have a kid in the family. Finally, the kind gentleman told me that a separate queue had been formed for Hyderbad. Lucky for him, he was the first in that queue. I was the fourth. Another really long wait. I was seriously beginning to wonder is the Air India groundsman had fallen asleep over the passenger's tickets. Vidur was not totally bored. He ran off towards the security check. I went and got him back. He did not want to stand in the queue and therefore, saw it necessary to lie flat on the floor. The bachelors standing behind me the queue were witness to all this. They were extremely tickled. I realized how funny and cute the situation would have seemed to an outsider. But I was definetely and trule HASSLED. I cursed myself for traveling with check in baggage. Finally, I passed on a bottle of milk to Vidur. He was occupied for sometime. It was almost my turn and I was going to cry with relief. It was 4 now. A lady in brown salwar and long straight hair trotted to the begining of the queue and pushed her ticket forward. It was my turn and I was so furious. I asked her, 'Madam, do you see this long queue. We have been waiting for so long. How can you cut it?' She says "Sorry, but my flight is at 4:25." To this I replied, 'Oh really? My flight is at 4:15. I am a hassled mother do not mess with me!' By now both she and the AI staff were looking alarmed. He pushed her ticket back to her and asked for mine. I put my luggage on the weighing scale. AI uncle said 'Oh this does not seem to be working!' He then spent a good minutes trying to figure out whether my name was Archana Narayan or Nayanan A (as they write in tickets). He asked me and I gave him a look that meant that this is Airline terminology and I do not understand. After consultation with a fellow uncle, he finally gave me my boarding pass. You would think they would be efficient with small things such as check in! It was painful! I headed for the security check. An old lady was trying to adjust her baggage into the screening belt. I was waiting my turn, when the same lady in brown salwar cut the queue for the second time and tried to shove her luggage in. I yelled again 'There you go again! What is your problem?' She managed to look sorry but I wonder what gives some women the right to cut queues and demand special treatment!

Finally, I was in the plan. The plane did not take off till 5:00. The captain announced that the delay was caused by lost passengers. I was so tempted to get up and say it is because of your terribly slow grounds staff. But my hands were full. Vidur was very happy to see the small TV screen. He was bored soon thought. I had to do several things to ensure that he sat in one place for a whole hour. I wish the planes would have a kids area where they can play. Imagine they would be happy and will not bother others. Changing diapers is another challenge in the plane. Anyway, I was glad it was finally over...

G.O.A

In the month of November, we headed for GOA. Vidur was very excited to see clouds outside the plane's window. As we went through a cloud, the turbulence scared a few. But, Vidur was thrilled. He eagerly pointed out of the window. Juice, crayons, and a coloring book kept him in one place.

The one hour long journey from the Airport to the resort was testing for adults as well as the children. Thought the children cribbed less. :) Finally, we reached the resort. The resort itself was lovely. Spacious rooms with lovely curtains and bedspreads. I fell in love with the place immediately. The weather was just right. Neither to hot, not cold.

We were a huge gang of 9 adults and 2 children. Goa was (needless to say) fabulous. We stayed at Resort Teraa Paraiso (lovely place!). As soon as we reached the resort, we had some yummy starters and the kids moved to the baby pool. Both, Rishabh and Vidur, are fascinated by water and there was no way we could keep them away from it. However, within five minutes both the kids drank some water. This changed their views. Both refused to go in. They stood on the edge and played with the colorful balls that Karthik was passing.

The next day when we got into the pool, the kids were still not sure. We had to coax Vidur in by distracting his attention. And it worked! Soon, he was enjoying himself and was passed from one adult to the other. The water was just lovely. Any trip is fab or not based on the company and how the kids behave. Both the children were absolute angels! They loved the bike rides around Goa. I think it helped that most of us had already seen Goa. Therefore, unlike most sight seers, we were glad to just see selected places and ensured that we did not cram everything in a day. We had to keep in mind kid's routines. Therefore, the stay in Goa was relaxing and the kids were also in great mood as their routine was not disturbed too much.

Vidur was also fascinated by the beach! He was thrilled that he was allowed to play in the sand and water. Goa cruise was another thing that we enjoyed. Vidur started dancing to the beat even before the program begun. When the program began, kids were asked to come to the stage and danced. Vidur was waiting for this! We had to drag him off the stage. :)

The trip was perfect! No cranky babies, no tantrums, lovely company, several favorite uncles for the kids, lovely resort, yummy food, and FAB Goa!

Letter to Tata Sky

Dear Tata Sky,

When I first subscribed to your service, I wondered who would ever watch the 100 channel. Why? The same advertisement, say Metlife insurance, plays over an over again for an hour or so. But, today, I realize its true value. I must apologize for not seeing its importance earlier.

I would like to take a moment to thank you for airing this channel. This channel keeps me sane. It ensures that my patience levels are not tested. My two year old son needs to watch advertisements to eat his food. His attention is totally and completely captured by ads and therefore, he does not realize that he is being fed. Earlier, I used to surf through channels searching for ads. Now, am glad that I have rediscovered Channel 100 and the fact that Vidur does not get bored of the same ad. He can watch the same ad for ages and not get bored. I prefer the coca cola ads. Why? Coca cola ads show Thumbs up, Maaza, Coca Cola, Limca and so on and therefore, it provides some variation for me.

Thanks once again!
Relieved Mommy

Party Time!

I know... it has been ages since I blogged. I came online thinking I will work. Then, I realized I just had to blog about today's experience.

We were invited to Rajeev's boss' kid's party. Vidur had a fabulous time. There were kids (obviously), lots of balloons, b'day caps, goodies, cake, chocolate fountain, scrumptious starters, yummy food, and ice cream. As soon as we entered, we were greeted by Mickey Mouse. Before I go ahead, I must explain something. Vidur watches Mickey Mouse Club House on Disney channel everyday. This is more of a ritual. He needs to watch the cartoon to drink his milk. Therefore, Vidur was excited to see a life size Mickey (though I think if Mickey was real, he would not be as tall as an average human). Vidur ran around whilst keeping an eye on what the older boys were up to. As the other children and adults played games, he danced. He also managed to trouble a few other children by snatching their balloon or pulling their shirts.

Five minutes after we got there, Vidur made his presence felt by pulling out the balloons decorated around the table on which the cake was kept. The host was kind enough to say this is what kids must do! After the games, Vidur got a really cute car tattoo on his hand. I had waited till almost the end to get it done. This is because I was so sure that he will not sit in one place or he will ruin the tattoo or his/my clothes. But guess what? He did neither. He sat still as the tattooist drew a red car on his hand. As soon as the tattoo was done, Vidur sat still for another five minutes as I blew into the color to help it dry faster.

There was a clown who made those balloons that twist into a fancy shapes. The clown made a crown like thing for Vidur. Vidur, however, refused to let the clown place it on his head. I suspect he was scared of the clown's colorful hair and red nose. Quite frankly, I find clowns scary rather than funny (I did ensure that Vidur was not aware of my bias. I would prefer if he forms his own opinions :)). They are too colorful and have wide scary mouths on a painted face.

Next was Mickey's turn. Vidur ran to Mickey. He turned, looked at me and said 'mickey'. I was quite surprised as I had not expected Vidur to make the connection. Mickey was very friendly. He ignored the few naughty kids who threw paper pieces at him. I guess he is used to this. Vidur watched other kids shake hands with Mickey. He would put his hand out, but quickly snatch it back when Mickey made a move to hold his hand. I am not sure if he was scared. But, he refused to go nearer or touch Mickey. He was fascinated though and continued to jump out of Mickey's way with a giggle. I guess life size versions of cartoon's are also scary? Not sure... Anyways, the bottom line is Vidur had a great time! Birthday parties are fun.

Adventurous Vidur

Vidur has become more of everything. He is more naughty, more active, more accident prone, more violent, more stubborn, and the list just continues. He has so much of restless energy in him. I was told by my boss that this is the beginning of the 'Terrible Twos' phase. I must admit that sounds very scary. Weren't things terrible enough? :)

What does he do with all that energy?

Event 1:
The TV cabinet is Vidur's favorite hangout. It looks like this (given on the left).

Vidur loves climbing the side where the books are stacked and watching out of the window. We have to be careful though, things may fly out of the window. Based on his mood, he tries one of the following:
a. Climb the grills to hang on the curtain rod.
b. Climb on the TV to explore the colorful glass vases kept on the other side.

As you can imagine, both are extremely scary!

Event 2:
He throws everything down the balcony. I have to share this with you. It was a Saturday and after cleaning up my cupboard, I was watching a movie with Rajeev. Vidur was playing with his building blocks. I sent an SMS to a cousin and then left it near me on the floor. After this, I went to the kitchen, made dinner and then watched another movie. Sunday, I start looking for my phone. I was unable to find it. Rajeev and I searched the entire house, but no luck. I get the message 'The phone is switched off.' when called my number. This was weird because there was some charge left. I declared the phone lost. I had a fleeting suspicion that Vidur must have something to do with it. He must have thrown my phone down the balcony. Anyway, we give up and I decide I am not going to replace my phone till Vidur is older.

Monday evening, a few auto drivers come looking for me. I know these auto drivers as they are from the auto stand I use to go to the bank or take Vidur to his doctor. I wondered what they were doing there when I suddenly see my phone in the hand of an auto driver. He asked me whether the phone was mine. I said yes and asked him where he got it from. I had not traveled in an auto for over a week and was sure that I had not left it there. He said that some children in their colony were playing with different parts of the phone. He put it together and found my photos in the phone's camera gallery. Therefore, they thought it might be mine. I was stunned at how my phone had found its way back to me. My guess is that my son did throw my phone down. Some child must have entered the compound and found the parts of my phone. The rest you already know.

I thanked the auto drivers profusely. I offered them money, but they firmly refused it saying that they returned it because they knew me. They said they were not expecting anything in return. Nice people.

Event 3:
Vidur climbs everything that has a grill on it. He climbs the windows using the headrest of the bed as footing. He hangs on the curtain rail to switch on the air conditioner. He also climbs the small grilled part of the balcony to get on to the bigger grilled area. Though the grill is locked always, it is scary because he climbs all the way to the top. There was this time when I was talking on the phone and this boy climbed the grill. I run to ensure that I am near him. Vidur decided to try free falling. He just lets go. Thankfully, my reflexes worked well that day. I dropped the phone and immediately caught him. I take no chances these days.

He is extremely accident prone these days. He falls often. He has cut his tougue, burnt himself slightly, and cut his chin. He had to get stiches on his chin. Overnight, my over cautious boy had converted into an adventurous daredevil. Just today, he walked into the wall! Off all things! So, am hoping that this phase passes over quickly and Vidur is safe from himself again!

Deepa's Wedding

A lot has happened since I last blogged. Have been putting off blogging as there is so much that I have to capture in this space and have been busy and lazy! What has kept me so busy? Well, first there was my sister's wedding, work, and ofcourse, my son, Vidur.

Vidur was very busy before Deepa's wedding as he was helping my mother and me shop for the wedding. He has run around in circles and entertained everyone at Nalli, Kumaran, RMKV, Joy Allukas, and several more shops. Thankfully, people in Chennai are very child-friendly and therefore, they laugh at all his antics. Of course, the downside is that Vidur is thrilled by the positive attitude and therefore, he gets hyper and uncontrollable! Not only was Deepa's wedding memorable, the days before were equally special! Karthik, Deepa, Harish, and Rishabh came early. Vidur and Rishabh (Karthik's 1 year 10 month old baby) had a lovely time. Their relationship seems to oscilate between love and hate. :D One minute they would be kissing/hugging each and the next, one would get whacked by the other. Both were fighting for Harish's attention. If you don't know who Harish is. Here is a short description. Harish is a child magnet. He is absolutely GREAT with children. Vidur is generally a mommy's boy. He loves people but most times I have to be around him. But, as soon as Vidur sees Harish, he doesn't need me. This fascination was a blessing for me before and during the wedding! Harish, on several instances, as given me a nice, long break from being mom! He would take care of Vidur and allow me to just breathe for a sec! (Bless you, Hairsh!)

Deepa's wedding was a lot of fun! Vidur had a blast. Vidur loves Deepa's in laws a lot. We, the girl's side, had gone to greet the boy's side. As soon as they arrived, Vidur jumped from me to Sriram's (Deepa's husband) father. Vish uncle is another person who is great with children. He stops so talk to every child he meets. Children love him too. Vidur is equally fond of Mythili aunty. There are times when he refuses to back home with us. :) Sriram is also a perfect uncle who tried to do EVERYTHING (hee hee) possible to make Vidur stop crying.

What he loved most about Deepa's wedding were the plastic chairs in the hall. He and Rishabh seemed to take it onto themselves to rearrange the chairs. (This really bugged my father! But there was no stopping these two. :)) Megha took on the role of an elder sister. She monitored their movements.

For the reception, Vidur and Rishabh were dressed in identical suits. They looked absolutely adorable! The most memorable incident was when the band began to play and Vidur began to dance. First, he was dancing right at the back. He realized that he was not getting enough attention. He ran all the way to the front and then began to dance. He would pause in between to check if he was being watched. If no, he would call out and demand that they watched him. I was really proud as he danced very gracefully. ;) He danced for 1.5 hours straight with no breaks in between. There was no stopping him.

Like I said, Deepa's wedding was incredibly fun, touching, and very memorable for all of us!!