Tuffy's Here!

The biggest news is that we brought home a doggie! How? Why? I love dogs, V loves dogs, and Rajeev does too. So, I guess it was just a matter of time before we got one. We kept putting it off initially thinking Vidur should grow up a little. But, then we heard that a friend's friends was giving a cocker spaniel. I have seen this doggie and felt sad that they were giving it away. Their reasons for giving it away was that 'it was not getting toilet trained'. Freaks! If you don't have the patience or are extremely busy, don't take on additional responsibility. Anyway, we were supposed to pick him up, but of course the lady changed her mind about giving away the dog. She apparently was enlightened by her hubby about how she may have to get another dog for the kids anyway and therefore, we might as well toilet train this one. Genius! Found out later that this family actually gave away the puppy previously for one day and got it back. Am glad I didn't have to undergo that.

But this experience did make me determined to get a puppy home and so we did. A friend helped us bring Tuffy, our golden retriever, home. Before you jump to any conclusions, we did not name him after the pom in HAKHK. One more person who asks me that is going to get it from me!! :) I guess we named him that for the following reasons:

1. This was the only name that everyone (my hubby, mom, sister, cousins, and so on) agreed on.
2. A name that Vidur was able to easily pronounce. He should be able to call his name.
3. As I picked Vidur's name, it was only fair that Rajeev picked Tuffy's. ;)

He was two months old when he came home. An adorable dog, so affectionate that he followed me around everywhere I went. He would sleep on my feet in the kitchen as I cooked, sleep under my chair as I worked and so on. Vidur was extremely possessive about him. He still asks for him first thing in the morning and when he gets back from school. They play rough and therefore, I have a new role that of a referee. 

Having a dog has its share of responsibilities and pain points, but it is nothing compared to the love and happiness Tuffy brings with it!

 

What happens in school?

Vidur has settled well into school and this really makes me happy! :) I received a 'communication folder' from the school one day and was pleasantly surprised to get a sneak peak into what my son does in school. Vidur doesn't talk much and therefore, when I ask him 'What did you do in school today?' he replies 'Joola' (swing or the slides). I used to wonder whether that was all he did there. Though I am not particular about they teach and am more keen on Vidur enjoying himself there, I am extremely curious to know how they handle a bunch of hyper 2-5 year olds. Coming back to the communication folder, this folder showed block paintings, sand sprinkling, painting dots on a frog and bird, sticking craft paper and so on. I was so proud seeing what Vidur had done in school. Though I must admit that it was too neat (except for the page titled Scribling) for me to believe that my son had truly done this. ;)

The school like most other play schools stays in touch with the parents through circulars. I got a circular informing us that Parent and Teaching Interaction forum was scheduled on Saturday and the slot given to Vidur was 10:15-10:30. AS we entered the school, a lady told us to wait five minutes. She mentioned that we could look at the charts hung up in the meantime. As we looked at the charts, we were thrilled to see snaps of Vidur in class. He was sitting in a perfect circle wearing a bright red apron. Apron to protect his clothes from the paint. Hats off to the teachers. I would never have been able to keep Vidur so clean if I had him paint at home. :) Coming back to Vidur sitting in a circle, I was pleasantly surprised to see that he did in fact sit in one place to do an activity.

From my previous post, you will remember that I hate schools that complain about children and I had such a good impression about this school. I know Vidur is a very naughty boy. Like all boys his age, he shoves, fights, and I think you get the picture. I was worried that I was going to either get a series of complaints or sugar coated complaints and feedback. I was already on the defensive even before I reached there. But, Vidur's teachers surprised me again. They focused on the positives. They told me:

1. How 'social' my son was. He insists on saying hi to everyone he sees whether it is the person who cleans up or the teachers teaching other classes or the children from other classes. He asks for other students/his friends when don't turn up in school. He has his own versions of their name and check where they are. 
2. How he loved to share his food with others. They told me that he loved biscuits and cake (thankfully I know that, he is my son you know and I am an informed mother :)) and insisted on sharing with others. He also insists that others share with him onthe days they get cake. I think that's fair. :) 
3. How the teachers have learnt to communicate with him. Vidur understands Tamil well, but speaks two words at a time. You need to know him to understand what he is saying. But his teachers have learnt to communicate with him. They get what he is saying. 
4. How Vidur is the one who changes the date on the board. Teacher was proud to say that Vidur insists on changing the date everyday and he gets it right most of the time. 
5. How he listens when the teacher says 'no'. Vidur listens when we tell him no and also ensures that other kids don't do it. Rajeev was shocked, he insisted later that we should take this teacher home if Vidur does listen to her. :) She also mentioned that Vidur goes and stands by the window if she raised her voice and talks to him. Then, she has to console and coax him back. 
6. He is the first person to dance during the dance activity and ensured that everyone in that vicinity dances. He has got this trait from his mother's side for sure. His mom, aunt and grandpa love to dance. :) He is extremely kicked about doing the activities. 

Overall, I was extremely glad that I got to meet Vidur's teachers and find an environment that Vidur is very comfortable in. It is obvious that Vidur is very popular there and he loves all the attention he gets.

My next point about schools is: How much of trouble they take to may it fun for students and for parents. In this last month, I have had two opportunities to dress Vidur up in ethnic wear, send him to school as per color codes, send him fruit to school, and so on. The parents are happy that something different is being done, kids are generally happy! But, this is just right. I hope they don't over do and force me to go get outfits that Vidur will never wear and make it a painful ordeal for us. :)

Vidur in Bangalore and the experiences so far

We had to relocate from one state to another. I keep wondering what must be going through my little one's head. Over night, his home, his environment, the people have changed. Does he associate Bangalore with his new school? Does he wonder where the people who were always with him in Chennai are? Does his new home feel like home to him. I know most people say kids are very adaptable and there is no doubt regarding this. But am sure a lot goes through their heads too.


I was a little apprehensive while looking for play schools for Vidur. I looked at three schools near my new home. Two of them were Montessori style. I did not like one and the other one... Well, I liked the teachers, I really did. And I was (and still am) awed by the Montessori style of teaching. But..... Let me explain what I saw in this particular school. The lady who runs the schools was very impressive. She spoke well and was very good at tackling my queries. She had two requests before she showed me inside.

1. Please do not talk when inside. I will explain and answer all your queries when we come outside. The children are busy with their activities and we don't want to disturb them. 
2. Please do not step on the activity mats. Be careful to walk around them.  

I did not know what the activity mats were, but since she insisted, I walked on my toes. As I entered, I was impressed by the space. I saw children of ages 2-5 sitting and doing their activity on their respective mats (AHA!). She showed me different rooms and the tools used. A girl (aged 4 probably) walked up to her and asked her, "Can I paint now?" She responded "Sure. First roll up your mat and get your apron." The girl obediently rolled up her mat and placed it where ever it had to go. Then, she put on an apron and waited patiently as the teacher tied it for her. The girl collected the paint items and neatly sat down to paint. I was, needless to say, speechless. Why? Well, if you have been following my blog, you may understand how 'ACTIVE' my son is. He is very, very naughty. I had great difficulty imagining my son in these settings. So, after the tour was over, I told her the same. To this she said, most parents are not firm with their children. In this school, we are very strict about our rules. This is the main reason we take in only one or two new children on Mondays and Wednesdays. It takes time but the child eventually settles down. While I was sure that she must be right, I decided against this school for the following reasons:

• I was a little worried that this school was too quiet. Imagine throwing fifteen 2-5 years old together and hearing pin drop silence. Eerieeeeeeeeeeeee. I thought children should make some noise and have some fun. 
• There was absolutely no play area. Two small slides on concrete near the gate were all the play the kids would get. Hated this thought. While I was inside, I thought it was safer if Vidur stayed outside with my mother. I couldn't be firm enough and explain to my son that he had to be quiet and not step on the mats. So, he was playing on the only two slides and he kept landing PLONK on the concrete!
• The fees was too high. I am not paying that much to change my son's personality to an obedient boy! 

I went to another school. As soon as I entered, I fell in love with it. I saw it and thought I wish I could come here everyday. It had a lovely playground, a splash pool, the whole building was painted in bright colors and most importantly the head mistress was not pushy. She gave me a lot of time and space to make up my mind. Vidur obviously joined this school.

On the first day of school, Vidur very excitedly ran inside expecting me to follow him. Because of the relocation, he joined one month late. Therefore, I could not help him selttle into school by being there with him. But for all ts worth, my mom and I waited three hours outside for the whole week and kept straining our ears to hear him. I think this transition into school is a very traumatic experience for children, parents and grand parents (am sure the list can grow longer). I keep thinking isn't there a nicer way to do this rather than say they will cry the first few days and then settle down. My dad says I am too fussy. Well, maybe I am. :)

But finally there came a day (and mind you very soon at that) when he walked in and said bye to me with excitement in his eyes. He loves his teacher and she is really sweet to him too. Finally, I was at peace! Vidur had taken a liking to school! One day I reached early and was waiting outside with Vidur. One of the assistants walked to me and said very sweetly 'Vidur does not sit in class. He insists on standing all the time. Please try telling him that he needs to sit in class. He is very smart and speaks a lot. I don't usually approve of schools complaining about the students. But this was different. I have heard instances when teachers ask parents to stop the child from hitting other or eating from others lunch boxes! Well, I believe that the school  has taken up the responsibility of teaching social skills and so on. Therefore, you can please teach kids whats 'right' and what is not. I am sure the parents do their bit. Its almost like the next thing they will say is you son is not studying or concentrating in class. Being an instructional designer, it is my habit to not blame the learner and to take complete responsibility if learning does not happen. So, now you know where I am coming from... :)

That's it about schools. One day, I decided to take Vidur to a nearby park. This park is very new and therefore, very appealing to kids and parents. The park was closed and later I found out that this park was open only from 5-7. Two people collect membership fees of Rs. 100 from each parent. This money is used for planting trees, maintaining swings/slides, and paying a full time watchman. The watchman ensured that teenagers do not misuse the park and that kids from the near by slum do not enter. I have absolutely no issues with people collecting money to maintain a public park and will happy contribute to the same. But, deep down I did have a problem with the park being closed to kids form the slum. Are they not allowed to have fun? Is this not a PUBLIC park? Are we all elitist in our outlook? Are we worried that our children will learn the wring things if in their company? I did not say anything to her as I was new and don't want to offend anybody. But, I do not believe in creating further divisions in our society, there are enough without us trying to do so...

Vidur's Favorite Cartoons

Vidur's Favorite

1. Little Krishna: Has your kid been introduced to Little Krishna? If no, I highly recommend that you purchase these DVDs immediately. My son loves Krishna. Not only him, I love this animated series. The characterisations, the details, the graphics, the background score, the narration seem just perfect. The darling of vrindavan just captures your heart and has you hooked.

Vidur is a huge fan. He plays the flute like Krishna, jumps like him, dances like him. The visualisation is amazing. I think just the fact that these stories are presented in highly graphical and less preachy fashion itself makes it a brilliant piece.

2. Monsters Inc.: Vidur loves 'boo', the kid, in this movie. The monsters don't scare him, but make him laugh. I love the concept of the monster world connected to the human world by a closet door. Very interesting how they make abominable snowman and big foot banished monsters!

3. Tom and Jerry: Good old, Tom and Jerry! Who doesn't love it? Cartoons such as this one will live on forever. What I love about this cartoon is that is truly a cartoon for all ages. It makes my son laugh, me laugh, and my father laugh and I don't think this is going to change.


4. Bolt: The latest to the list is Bolt. This super dog will no real super power has captured my son's heart. He loves the first seen where Bolt (as a pup) plays with the carrot toy. This scene brings a smile on his face always. Very cute movie that has three very special characters: Bolt, Mittens, and Rhino.



These are my favorites too and I don't mind watching these over and over with him.

Marley & Me - My Thoughts

I watched the movie, Marley & Me yesterday. It touched my heart on so many levels. All dog lovers must watch this movie. My thoughts:

1. A entry of a child in a relationship changes EVERYTHING. Life is not the same and definitely as easy as it used to be. I was watching the movie, while Rajeev my hubby worked away on his laptop in another room. During the scene where Jen snaps at John, Rajeev says 'Oh, this seems to be the story of our life.' Relationships are tough. Add a kid to it and it reaches very close to breaking point. :)
2. Marley reminds me of my dog, Micky. I don't remember a day that she obeyed us. She would drag us when we went for a walk. Like John in the movie, we would constantly be heard saying 'Micky, no!' Not much has changed, these days, you will hear me saying, 'Vidur, no!' That's another thing, Marley' naughtiness/playfulness reminds me of my son.
3. Bringing up a dog is in no way preparing you to bring up a child. Nothing prepares you, you just learn on the way.
4. Marley does everything he is not supposed to do and so does Vidur! :) He leaves no opportunity, no stone unturned.
5. The scene where Marley places his head on Jen's lap when she breaks down after her losing her child reminded me of the time when Micky refused to leave my side when I was extremely upset.
6. The scene where Jen asks Jon to send Marley away but later tell hims that she didn't mean it, makes her so real. Sometimes we feel irrational, snap at people around us, and blame everyone else. It is ok to do this as along as we know later that we were just upset.
7. I cried my eyes out when there was no hope for Marley. I experienced what my parents must have gone through when they had to make the toughest decision of their life, relieve Micky of her misery. I cried even after the movie was over thinking how right John was, dogs love unconditionally. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from...

Peepa and Vidur

Ever since we got back from Mumbai, Vidur insists that I show him the videos we shot there. The first video is one where Deepa (my sister) is cutting her birthday cake. These videos help Vidur remember his aunt and uncle. Infact, he is so found of Deepa that when people ask him what his name is, he responds 'Peepa!' At one time, it was Harish (his favorite uncle... :)

So, Peepa was here for the weekend and Vidur was so happy! He woke up to find Peepa sleeping next to him. He looked at me and said 'Amma! Peepa!' Then, paused and asked 'Chitta?' Chitta a.k.a chittappa a.k.a Sriram (Deepa's hubby). I told him chitta was sleeping in the other room. He was absolutely thrilled! When they got ready to leave, the poor thing was so heartbroken. When Peepa and I went shopping, I got out of the auto and asked V to join me. He said 'No,no. Peepa ba'. He got off the auto and help on to Peepa's hand. A car reversed from the parking lot and was heading past Peepa. V, knight in shining armor, pulled Peepa closer towards him and said 'Peepa!! CAR!!!' Then, he looked left and right, ensured that the lane was safe enough for Peepa to cross. My sister was amazed that V had tried to save her life. Sheesh! My family is good at theatrics! :D (And according to people at work, I am the biggest natak rani. They tell me V takes after me and I am secretly proud!)

It is such a beautiful relationship that of a nephew and aunt/uncle. Children get so attached to people who genuinely care. I know we get to meet each other often. But, how I wish we were all in one place and the kids grew up with each other like a true family! Maybe, one day.....

Going Crazy with a Video Camera

For our 5th wedding anniversary, my parents gifted us a Video Camera. Nice, but totally selfish gesture on their part. Why? Well, they got us a video camera so that we can capture their grandson and share it often with them. :)

It took me time to remember that I had a video cam and start using it often. Once we started though, we are both like tourists with a camera. Taking videos of everything, taking the video cam everywhere! Also, with busy parents who will not invest money in video editing software, we have been uploading short, weirdly taken videos on YouTube. (God bless YouTube for not putting quality checks in place).

My mom very studiously watches, oohs and aahs over everything Vidur does. I guess it is great fun to capture precious moments and share with people who truly care. My memory is really terrible. Most times, I am asking my sister if I have seen a particular movie. She claims that it is great fun sharing gossip with me. Even if she repeats it to me, I respond to it as if I were hearing it for the first time. So, it is good that I have a camera. Now, I don't need to remember, I can just record it!