The Listless Mother

My hubby recently changed our newspaper and now we subscribe to Times of India. I was reading the cartoon segment and I came across two cartoons that were about mothers who were really tired and listless because of their role as a mother. Hmmm.

Being a mother is a really challenging task. The other day I had to get ready for my cousin's cousin's reception (:P). I spent sometime trying to figure out which outfit to wear. I ensured that it was ironed and free of creases. Vidur looked really smart in his new shorts and white t-shirt. As soon as we entered the car, he got onto my lap (I know! I know! I have to fix the car seat in the car!). He stood on my lap and hung on the handle fixed above the window. He jumped up and down. He tried tugging at my earrings and realized that mommy is wearing studs and not those fascinating, very pull-able dangling earrings. Finally, he wanted to move to his aunt's lap. She was had also painstakingly ironed out her outfit. As soon as he got onto her lap, she yelped, remembering that the material would wrinkle easily. Why bother ironing in the first place! He promptly pulled my hair and ensured that it was in a disarray by the time we got to the wedding hall. No wonder, we (mothers) look distressed and disheveled.

Conquered the Nada Vandi

We bought Vidur a traditional, very Indian version of a walker. This is called 'nada vandi' (I am no expert in Tamil but the literal translation is Walk vehicle) in Tamil. The few times that Vidur saw this toy, he was most fascinated with the tiny bells on either side. The first time he tried walking holding on to it, he lost his balance and hit his chin (ouch!). He has been practicing by pushing a old, battered can chair around. This morning, he was in full form!

He was running up and down the hall (with my maid following him closely, ready to catch him if he were to fall). He has now mastered the art of balancing the toy and applies the right pressure to ensure that the narrow side does not come off the floor.

What I liked about this kind of walker is that the kid is not restricted within a closed space. There is a chance that he will fall. and it is absolutely essential to supervise him. But it gives him the freedom to push it around, learn to walk by mastering the art of balancing and also fall as all kids do as they grow up. At least, he won't be scared of getting hurt! I have this idiotic grin on my face everytime he pushes this toy around with no help from us. :)

The Fussy Mother

The things I fuss about:

General:

1. Is his shit the right colour and consistency? (His loosies drove me crazy, therefore the constant need to monitor...)
2. What is his next meal and how much time do I have to get it ready?
   
3. What veggies did I give him yesterday?
   

When traveling:

1. Do I have EVERYTHING he needs in one tiny bag?
   
2. Do I have all his medicines with me?
   
3. Is his diaper and baby wipes easily accessible?
4. How dirty is the destination going to be?
   
5. What facilities are going to be available there?
6. Will Vidur adjust to the new environment?
   
7. Will others put pressure on me to feed him every time he cries?
8. No new food to be introduced
   

Guess all mother's fuss atleast a little when it comes to their first child. By the time we have the next, we are used to the whole mother routine. When we plan to go out, getting his bag ready is a big task. I need to mentally tick things off in my head. His bag must have:

• Food for atleast two meals incase we get stuck outside
• Spoons (incase he drops on or I am not able to wash it for the next feed)
  
• Bibs (he is very messy when in a naughty mood so i throw in extra bibs) and soft cloth wipes
  
• Diapers (2-3)
• Nappy cream (he gets a rash very easily)
• A set of clothes (incase he dirties the one he is wearing)
• A packet of baby wipes
  

If I am taking him for a movie:

• A blanket ( the theaters are typically very cold..... brrrrrrr)
• A pair of socks
  
• A full sleeved shirt or a jacket
  

So, yes I fuss. And, think I know what is best for my kid.

Bald Vidur

Like all mothers, I was paranoid about how Vidur was going to react to the blade. But my paranoia was absolutely unnecessary, he was a brave little boy. He cried only when he realized that his father was holding onto his hands.

Children get so used to the fan or the air conditioner. I had taken Vidur to a village, Srirangam, in Trichy. Powercuts are common thing there. Every other house is either contemplating or purchasing inverters. Power failure lasts for 10 hours! The first night was quite an adventure. Vidur and I were sleeping in a small room. Sleep eluded me because of unfamiliar surroundings. Vidur slept peacefully till 3:30. Then, he got up and decided he wanted to play and say 'amma', 'appa' and 'thatha'. He had some milk and went to sleep by 4:00. Power supply was cut around 4:40 am. This is when the army of mosquitoes attacked. They were ruthless! I had to sit next to my son, using a hand fan to protect him from these merciless creatures. Regardless of this effort, his forehead and hands had several mosquito bites! The power returned by 6:00 am. The next power cut was from 2:00 pm to 6:00. Can you believe it? We had to live with it.... Vidur, on the other hand, was extremely cranky because of the heat. He is used to having at least the fan around to cool things down.

He was in the best of moods when we went out!

What's Vidur upto?

It has been a long time since I posted. In this time, Vidur is now walking holding anything (chair, cupboard, door, bed, sofa) he gets his hands on. He spends most of the day strengthening his legs by standing. When in a really exploratory mood, he toddles around at a reasonable speed.

He now very excitedly waves bye-bye to anyone in his vision when he is held anywhere near the front door. He shakes his head vigorously from left to right when anyone sings Pappu can't dance salla (this his maternal grandma thought him). He sings with his maternal grandpa. He makes a very seriously face and says aaaaaaa. He is very excited that he can reach the table. He stands on his toes to see what he can reach. Since this is now my work space, his face lights up when he sees the mouse or my phone.

On the whole, Vidur is very busy these days exploring new territories and mastering new skills.

Sojha beta, varna Gabbar aa jayega

I have a maid helping me out with Vidur and other chores at home. My maid uses fear to try and ensure that Vidur listens to her. She says (in tamil) "Don't go there! There is a cat there. Shall I ask it to come and bite you?" or "Squeak! Squeak! Rat! Rat! Don't go there Vidur!" Haven't you heard similar instances before? Some age old fear mechanisms are:

• Will you eat or shall I call the policeman? He will take you away.
• Don't touch that else aunty/uncle will shout at/hit you!
• Don't touch that else I will never take you out/bring you here.
• Go to sleep now otherwise the monster/ghost will come and eat you!

Why do we use these fear mechanisms? Does simple, plain logic not work? I bet it doesn't! When children are being naughty, they typically know that they are not supposed to be doing it. You can see the mischievous look in their eyes. But I think a stern 'no' would work. Kids are very perceptive and pick up tones and facial expressions really early. I guess I will know soon if this technique will work better than the fear technique. Will share...

Busy Evening

Last evening, my hubby called to inform that he will be coming late. How this affects me (these days)? As soon as Rajeev comes home, Vidur is thrust into his arms. I call it bonding time (it is actually breathing space for me :) ). So, last evening Vidur was all mine. Hmmmm.....

He was is a very exploratory mood. He was toddling all over the place. We explored the kitchen, the pooja room, hall and dinning room and finally the bedroom. He stood holding on to the side table and was thrilled to see that the table was full of interesting things. He picked up the all out plug in and peered closely at it. He didn't think it was worth playing with and so, he threw it down with a determined thud. He then picked up the Parachute bottle and opened his mouth. He probably imagined putting it into his mouth, but decided it against it. The bottle joined the plug in on the floor. He then tried to reach for a jar of water. Thinking that he is going to throw this down anyway, I placed it on the floor. He then spotted a three way plug and an adapter. He realized that these items were more to his taste and he stated banging them on the table. Heaven knows how these boys automatically take to these items?

He then toddled towards the doormat. He realized that I knew what he was upto and increased his speed. But I am his mom (akhir main uski ma hoon), I got there first and removed the doormat. Never to be dejected, he used all his effort to stand by transferring his weight to the bathroom door. Very conveniently, he fell backwards expecting me to catch him. (BTW I did)

He then found his way to the fitted wardrobe. The door was left open. He dragged his pajamas (folded neatly and stacked together) out and dumped them on the floor. Then, he realized that he could open and close the door. He did this for what seemed like ages. Then, he tried to stand holding on to the door. When he stood, he realized he could reach another shelf. He dutifully pulled Pampers, shook the big packet vigorously, and dumped it.

Finally, he was sleepy. I rocked, I sang. Just when his eyelids closed shut, the doorbell rang and his eyelids sprang open. I wanted to cry. I stomped to the door, gave my tired hubby a dirty look and went back to try again. Same thing happened all over again. I was literally in tears. Finally, he was asleep!! I tucked him in. Saw his angelic face and forgot all that frustration.