My Way Or the Highway!

Summer vacations are on for Vidur and therefore, bed time is flexible. He mostly lazes around the house, plays a lot of cricket, paints, plays with dough and watches his favorite cartoons. At home, my TV time is given the least priority. Vidur has top priority and then my husband. So, fights over what to watch typically take place between my husband (a 30 something) and my son (all of his 3 years). My husband has actually had to sacrifice a lot of his TV time to watch Tom and Jerry. I know what is the latest in Mr. Bean Animated/Ben 10/and so on. I love bollywood movies and used to watch Zoom (bollywood news and trailers) all the time. But, this is no longer the case. It was so bad that when emails were doing rounds of Munni vs Sheila, I was clueless as to who Sheila was. I called my mom (epitome of bollywood wisdom) to check on this.

Back to the clash between father and son, that particular evening, hubby was watching two movies simultaneously (it's an art) on cable TV. Vidur explained that he wanted to watch Tom and Jerry. Rajeev very firmly said we can't always watch what you want to watch. You can watch Tom and Jerry on the other TV. Vidur tried a few more times and that's when I decided to intervene. I put on Incredibles on the computer for him to watch. Vidur watched for a while, then got bored, and decided to play with Tuffy. I had some work so after cleaning up the Kitchen, I settled to work.

At 9:30, Vidur tells my husband, 'Off Tv, Dudu (that's what he calls himself) wants to sleep.' Rajeev was thrilled! This kid hates sleeping and fights it even when he is almost asleep. Vidur came up to me and said 'Look at time, come let's sleep amma.' He pulled me by my hand and led us to the bedroom. Rajeev tried singing him to sleep and all the while Vidur was facing me and had his eyes wide open. I wondered how he could feel sleepy after his marathon nap of three hours in the afternoon. I decided to get up and finish my work.

At 10:00, Vidur comes and settles himself on the bean bag. He looks at me and whispers 'Amma, appa sleeping, on TV, I want Tom and Jerry.' I was extremely amused as my son had managed to strategize and carry out his plan. He managed to put his father to sleep and have the TV all to himself! Kids are really smart these days.... watch out for them! 

My Brave Boy!

As most of my Facebook Buddies know (because of this pic), Vidur ran into the wall. It was the scariest thing watching my maid bring him to me with a terrible wound near his eye. As soon as I saw it, I realized that I have to take him to the doctor. I called my mom and told her to catch hold of V's doctor, took the car and rushed out. On the way, I was informed that the doctor suggested that I take him directly to a hospital. The traffic was pretty bad. Rajeev was stuck in training and therefore, there was no point contacting him.

My cousin (the hero of the day) kept calling me to check where I was going, whether I was fine, etc. I reached the hospital finally and asked the security were I had to park the car. The security guy took one look at Vidur and said leave your car here and take your son to the emergency. He then asked me how it happened as I parked it as close I could to the curb. After I explained briefly, he started saying in Hindi 'You people just don't take care of your children. Look what has happened to him.' Needless to say, I saw red. I took a precious half minute to tell him what I thought 'Is it really important for me to listen to your lecture now? Do you realize how worried and upset I am as his mother? Can you please shut up?' He got a little worried and said 'Yes ma'am. The emergency ward is this way.' I can truly understand how Geet from Jab we Met felt with that old station master.

As I entered the emergency, people jumped to attention. They immediately took over and started cleaning the wound. Till before this, Vidur insisted that he did not want to meet a doctor. But the nurses here were so good with him, he allowed them to clean as he answered important questions about his school. The doctor asked what happened. All the cleaning and the worry finally got to me. I called up my cousin and told him I needed him here. He was already on his way with my mom. What I am skipping due to acute embarrassment is the fact that I felt giddy and nurses and doc insisted that I lie down in the bed next to Vidur. Very embarrassing and funny! Vidur asked me what happened and I said nothing, it's my chance now. He was happy with that. The emergency people insisted Vidur will not need stitches but he has to meet the plastic surgeon about the scar. By this time, Vidur was enjoying all the attention he was getting. He was actually lying down with one leg over another calling for the doctor.

My cousin and mom arrived finally. They were worried about me and so they took over from there. As we waited to see the plastic surgeon, Vidur went back to being Vidur and ran all over the place. People saw his dressing and kept telling him go slowly and giving me dirty looks. As he was running, my sweet child stopped in front of me, put his hand under my chin and asked 'Amma, you ok?' I had tears in my eyes as I said 'I am fine sweetie. Are you ok?' (ok enough mush) He said 'Am fine' and continued running and driving my cousin crazy. :)

The plastic surgeon had one look at his wound and said he needs stitches. He believed that Vidur will cooperate and so we can do it with local anesthesia. Karthik was the pillar of support at the treatment room. He kept saying please wait outside. I will be with him. But I had to stay with Vidur. Vidur was a really, really brave boy. He did as he was told, didn't cry and was an angel (shows he can be when he wants to be). He just didn't like the fact that water was falling over his face and kept complaining about that. But understood when I explained that the doctor was cleaning the wound. The doctor finally said it's almost over and I parroted the same for Vidur. Vidur said 'Thank you uncle'. Sweetheart, remembers his manners at the weirdest of situations! By the time the doctor finished, he was asleep.  The doctor said 'Boys his age usually scream and shout and cry. He is a very cooperative boy.' The nurse also promptly agreed and said he is good boy. :)

The weirdest thing is after we got back from the hospital and I was sitting near him, he turned to me and asked 'Amma, you ok?' Then, again last night, in his sleep, he asks me 'Amma, you ok?' Now I am seriously worried whether something is wrong with me :D. Jokes apart, I am touched that Vidur thinks of me even at such a young age, especially when he has been hurt! Love him the most! 

Tuffy - Trying his luck

A few months back...

Is that food I smell?

Can I have some please?

Pretty please?

(trying from a different angle) Here comes 'The Look.' Let's see you say no to this.

Tuffy's Here!

The biggest news is that we brought home a doggie! How? Why? I love dogs, V loves dogs, and Rajeev does too. So, I guess it was just a matter of time before we got one. We kept putting it off initially thinking Vidur should grow up a little. But, then we heard that a friend's friends was giving a cocker spaniel. I have seen this doggie and felt sad that they were giving it away. Their reasons for giving it away was that 'it was not getting toilet trained'. Freaks! If you don't have the patience or are extremely busy, don't take on additional responsibility. Anyway, we were supposed to pick him up, but of course the lady changed her mind about giving away the dog. She apparently was enlightened by her hubby about how she may have to get another dog for the kids anyway and therefore, we might as well toilet train this one. Genius! Found out later that this family actually gave away the puppy previously for one day and got it back. Am glad I didn't have to undergo that.

But this experience did make me determined to get a puppy home and so we did. A friend helped us bring Tuffy, our golden retriever, home. Before you jump to any conclusions, we did not name him after the pom in HAKHK. One more person who asks me that is going to get it from me!! :) I guess we named him that for the following reasons:

1. This was the only name that everyone (my hubby, mom, sister, cousins, and so on) agreed on.
2. A name that Vidur was able to easily pronounce. He should be able to call his name.
3. As I picked Vidur's name, it was only fair that Rajeev picked Tuffy's. ;)

He was two months old when he came home. An adorable dog, so affectionate that he followed me around everywhere I went. He would sleep on my feet in the kitchen as I cooked, sleep under my chair as I worked and so on. Vidur was extremely possessive about him. He still asks for him first thing in the morning and when he gets back from school. They play rough and therefore, I have a new role that of a referee. 

Having a dog has its share of responsibilities and pain points, but it is nothing compared to the love and happiness Tuffy brings with it!

 

What happens in school?

Vidur has settled well into school and this really makes me happy! :) I received a 'communication folder' from the school one day and was pleasantly surprised to get a sneak peak into what my son does in school. Vidur doesn't talk much and therefore, when I ask him 'What did you do in school today?' he replies 'Joola' (swing or the slides). I used to wonder whether that was all he did there. Though I am not particular about they teach and am more keen on Vidur enjoying himself there, I am extremely curious to know how they handle a bunch of hyper 2-5 year olds. Coming back to the communication folder, this folder showed block paintings, sand sprinkling, painting dots on a frog and bird, sticking craft paper and so on. I was so proud seeing what Vidur had done in school. Though I must admit that it was too neat (except for the page titled Scribling) for me to believe that my son had truly done this. ;)

The school like most other play schools stays in touch with the parents through circulars. I got a circular informing us that Parent and Teaching Interaction forum was scheduled on Saturday and the slot given to Vidur was 10:15-10:30. AS we entered the school, a lady told us to wait five minutes. She mentioned that we could look at the charts hung up in the meantime. As we looked at the charts, we were thrilled to see snaps of Vidur in class. He was sitting in a perfect circle wearing a bright red apron. Apron to protect his clothes from the paint. Hats off to the teachers. I would never have been able to keep Vidur so clean if I had him paint at home. :) Coming back to Vidur sitting in a circle, I was pleasantly surprised to see that he did in fact sit in one place to do an activity.

From my previous post, you will remember that I hate schools that complain about children and I had such a good impression about this school. I know Vidur is a very naughty boy. Like all boys his age, he shoves, fights, and I think you get the picture. I was worried that I was going to either get a series of complaints or sugar coated complaints and feedback. I was already on the defensive even before I reached there. But, Vidur's teachers surprised me again. They focused on the positives. They told me:

1. How 'social' my son was. He insists on saying hi to everyone he sees whether it is the person who cleans up or the teachers teaching other classes or the children from other classes. He asks for other students/his friends when don't turn up in school. He has his own versions of their name and check where they are. 
2. How he loved to share his food with others. They told me that he loved biscuits and cake (thankfully I know that, he is my son you know and I am an informed mother :)) and insisted on sharing with others. He also insists that others share with him onthe days they get cake. I think that's fair. :) 
3. How the teachers have learnt to communicate with him. Vidur understands Tamil well, but speaks two words at a time. You need to know him to understand what he is saying. But his teachers have learnt to communicate with him. They get what he is saying. 
4. How Vidur is the one who changes the date on the board. Teacher was proud to say that Vidur insists on changing the date everyday and he gets it right most of the time. 
5. How he listens when the teacher says 'no'. Vidur listens when we tell him no and also ensures that other kids don't do it. Rajeev was shocked, he insisted later that we should take this teacher home if Vidur does listen to her. :) She also mentioned that Vidur goes and stands by the window if she raised her voice and talks to him. Then, she has to console and coax him back. 
6. He is the first person to dance during the dance activity and ensured that everyone in that vicinity dances. He has got this trait from his mother's side for sure. His mom, aunt and grandpa love to dance. :) He is extremely kicked about doing the activities. 

Overall, I was extremely glad that I got to meet Vidur's teachers and find an environment that Vidur is very comfortable in. It is obvious that Vidur is very popular there and he loves all the attention he gets.

My next point about schools is: How much of trouble they take to may it fun for students and for parents. In this last month, I have had two opportunities to dress Vidur up in ethnic wear, send him to school as per color codes, send him fruit to school, and so on. The parents are happy that something different is being done, kids are generally happy! But, this is just right. I hope they don't over do and force me to go get outfits that Vidur will never wear and make it a painful ordeal for us. :)

Vidur in Bangalore and the experiences so far

We had to relocate from one state to another. I keep wondering what must be going through my little one's head. Over night, his home, his environment, the people have changed. Does he associate Bangalore with his new school? Does he wonder where the people who were always with him in Chennai are? Does his new home feel like home to him. I know most people say kids are very adaptable and there is no doubt regarding this. But am sure a lot goes through their heads too.


I was a little apprehensive while looking for play schools for Vidur. I looked at three schools near my new home. Two of them were Montessori style. I did not like one and the other one... Well, I liked the teachers, I really did. And I was (and still am) awed by the Montessori style of teaching. But..... Let me explain what I saw in this particular school. The lady who runs the schools was very impressive. She spoke well and was very good at tackling my queries. She had two requests before she showed me inside.

1. Please do not talk when inside. I will explain and answer all your queries when we come outside. The children are busy with their activities and we don't want to disturb them. 
2. Please do not step on the activity mats. Be careful to walk around them.  

I did not know what the activity mats were, but since she insisted, I walked on my toes. As I entered, I was impressed by the space. I saw children of ages 2-5 sitting and doing their activity on their respective mats (AHA!). She showed me different rooms and the tools used. A girl (aged 4 probably) walked up to her and asked her, "Can I paint now?" She responded "Sure. First roll up your mat and get your apron." The girl obediently rolled up her mat and placed it where ever it had to go. Then, she put on an apron and waited patiently as the teacher tied it for her. The girl collected the paint items and neatly sat down to paint. I was, needless to say, speechless. Why? Well, if you have been following my blog, you may understand how 'ACTIVE' my son is. He is very, very naughty. I had great difficulty imagining my son in these settings. So, after the tour was over, I told her the same. To this she said, most parents are not firm with their children. In this school, we are very strict about our rules. This is the main reason we take in only one or two new children on Mondays and Wednesdays. It takes time but the child eventually settles down. While I was sure that she must be right, I decided against this school for the following reasons:

• I was a little worried that this school was too quiet. Imagine throwing fifteen 2-5 years old together and hearing pin drop silence. Eerieeeeeeeeeeeee. I thought children should make some noise and have some fun. 
• There was absolutely no play area. Two small slides on concrete near the gate were all the play the kids would get. Hated this thought. While I was inside, I thought it was safer if Vidur stayed outside with my mother. I couldn't be firm enough and explain to my son that he had to be quiet and not step on the mats. So, he was playing on the only two slides and he kept landing PLONK on the concrete!
• The fees was too high. I am not paying that much to change my son's personality to an obedient boy! 

I went to another school. As soon as I entered, I fell in love with it. I saw it and thought I wish I could come here everyday. It had a lovely playground, a splash pool, the whole building was painted in bright colors and most importantly the head mistress was not pushy. She gave me a lot of time and space to make up my mind. Vidur obviously joined this school.

On the first day of school, Vidur very excitedly ran inside expecting me to follow him. Because of the relocation, he joined one month late. Therefore, I could not help him selttle into school by being there with him. But for all ts worth, my mom and I waited three hours outside for the whole week and kept straining our ears to hear him. I think this transition into school is a very traumatic experience for children, parents and grand parents (am sure the list can grow longer). I keep thinking isn't there a nicer way to do this rather than say they will cry the first few days and then settle down. My dad says I am too fussy. Well, maybe I am. :)

But finally there came a day (and mind you very soon at that) when he walked in and said bye to me with excitement in his eyes. He loves his teacher and she is really sweet to him too. Finally, I was at peace! Vidur had taken a liking to school! One day I reached early and was waiting outside with Vidur. One of the assistants walked to me and said very sweetly 'Vidur does not sit in class. He insists on standing all the time. Please try telling him that he needs to sit in class. He is very smart and speaks a lot. I don't usually approve of schools complaining about the students. But this was different. I have heard instances when teachers ask parents to stop the child from hitting other or eating from others lunch boxes! Well, I believe that the school  has taken up the responsibility of teaching social skills and so on. Therefore, you can please teach kids whats 'right' and what is not. I am sure the parents do their bit. Its almost like the next thing they will say is you son is not studying or concentrating in class. Being an instructional designer, it is my habit to not blame the learner and to take complete responsibility if learning does not happen. So, now you know where I am coming from... :)

That's it about schools. One day, I decided to take Vidur to a nearby park. This park is very new and therefore, very appealing to kids and parents. The park was closed and later I found out that this park was open only from 5-7. Two people collect membership fees of Rs. 100 from each parent. This money is used for planting trees, maintaining swings/slides, and paying a full time watchman. The watchman ensured that teenagers do not misuse the park and that kids from the near by slum do not enter. I have absolutely no issues with people collecting money to maintain a public park and will happy contribute to the same. But, deep down I did have a problem with the park being closed to kids form the slum. Are they not allowed to have fun? Is this not a PUBLIC park? Are we all elitist in our outlook? Are we worried that our children will learn the wring things if in their company? I did not say anything to her as I was new and don't want to offend anybody. But, I do not believe in creating further divisions in our society, there are enough without us trying to do so...

Vidur's Favorite Cartoons

Vidur's Favorite

1. Little Krishna: Has your kid been introduced to Little Krishna? If no, I highly recommend that you purchase these DVDs immediately. My son loves Krishna. Not only him, I love this animated series. The characterisations, the details, the graphics, the background score, the narration seem just perfect. The darling of vrindavan just captures your heart and has you hooked.

Vidur is a huge fan. He plays the flute like Krishna, jumps like him, dances like him. The visualisation is amazing. I think just the fact that these stories are presented in highly graphical and less preachy fashion itself makes it a brilliant piece.

2. Monsters Inc.: Vidur loves 'boo', the kid, in this movie. The monsters don't scare him, but make him laugh. I love the concept of the monster world connected to the human world by a closet door. Very interesting how they make abominable snowman and big foot banished monsters!

3. Tom and Jerry: Good old, Tom and Jerry! Who doesn't love it? Cartoons such as this one will live on forever. What I love about this cartoon is that is truly a cartoon for all ages. It makes my son laugh, me laugh, and my father laugh and I don't think this is going to change.


4. Bolt: The latest to the list is Bolt. This super dog will no real super power has captured my son's heart. He loves the first seen where Bolt (as a pup) plays with the carrot toy. This scene brings a smile on his face always. Very cute movie that has three very special characters: Bolt, Mittens, and Rhino.



These are my favorites too and I don't mind watching these over and over with him.